Moving on...

2013 bye... 2014, hi.

We are moving on... I just have few wishes for this year and that is...

To graduate --- It feels sad to leave school yet, I want it to end, too. Last year had been a struggle.. my subjects, feasibs and all about school stuffs! So I hope, my internship now would end good and this April... I'll finally March on the stage and get my diploma.

Healthy family --- This is a wish more for my Mom. She seems getting weaker and weaker each year. I hope this year, she wouldn't be like that... I hope she'd be more happy and healthy.

More manuscripts --- as I've said to my last posts.... I'm having a dilemma. I hope this year, I wouldn't experience that.

And yes.. LOVELIFE --- I'm longing for it. Hahaha! Besides, I expect to graduate this year and ehem... HIM, we are the same right? Hahaha!

Thank you 2013. More blessings 2014.

Happy Happy New Year!

xx

Cady

I'm losing it.

Writing is like loving HIM...

Writing is not as easy as what you think... And its the same from HIM. There are nights that you just want to give up because it doesn't seems right. And loving him is like that. Being with him doesn't seems right....

But I love it...

You can't demand in writing and so am I to HIM. In writing, patience is a virtue. You have to cope-up with your editors. I just can't say that I need the feedback now because I need money now. You have to bear in mind that they have other manuscripts to handle and so to HIM. I can't demand to him because I am not only his priorities. He have other works and he has his family, too.

But I love it...

Writing seems not the practical path. As I have said, I can't demand from it. If there's no approved manuscript, you don't have money. And its really hard to support myself if I don't have. Especially that I want to have monthly subscription of something *eherm* secret for now after I graduate. What if I write and its returned? I won't have money. I can't subscribe to that thing. And loving him, its not practical... He is from the other side of the world. We are different beliefs, different culture... How can I be with him?

But I love it...

Writing makes me always wait... and so is HIM. And yes, waiting is not my attitude.

But I love it...

And now, I am losing my drive in writing. And no, its not that I am losing my love from him... Its just that, I have this moment that I feel like I am giving him up because I am hurt. I am not his priority and it breaks my heart like writing now... I am losing it because of some I don't know and can't admit reasons...

It really feels sad feeling this way but... my mind feels like giving up.

Okay, lets talk all about writing now... I feel like giving up because I can't finish a novel anymore. Its been my dilemma since October and... uggh! What is wrong with me? I don't know if its because I am trying to have a new genre in writing or is it because I am really losing it... I can't decide. Plus the pressure that people bring to me.. I have plans after graduation but feels like I can't fulfill it because of what is happening on me right now. I know, I need to decide soon....

But...

I don't want to accept the fact that I am losing it because I love it... It breaks my heart thinking that someday, time will come that I have to let it go and choose the practical path.

I love writing but I need to choose... and knowing me as a practical person... I'm torn between.

xx

Cady

Grateful

Aww... I miss blogging! Medyo busy na kasi saka tinatamaan ng katamaran kaya ngayon na lang nakapag-blog... but anyway, I'm here again so... Hehe!

Today is Christmas and I have so much things to be grateful of. Okay, hindi naman maiiwasan na may problems pa rin... but if I look the things around me, I know, I have a lots of blessings more than that. Kaya kapag nalulungkot ako, kinakalma ko na lang ang sarili ko sa tuwing tinitignan ko ang mga bagay na iyon.

I'm grateful about my Internship. My superiors are all nice. They even give me gifts on Christmas and let me join for their department treats. Kapag may pagkain, di rin puwedeng wala ako. Hahaha! I'm happy I am working for them, with them.

I'm grateful for all the gifts that I receive...  Most of them are unexpected... and I love unexpected gifts!

I'm grateful about HIM... Yes, he doesn't have enough time for me. But still, he remembers me. Kahit na wala siyang PC sa bahay at internet para mabati ako, he still find a way. That's the most important thing for me then.

I'm grateful I have my family and spend the Christmas with them. Thank you for still making us complete this year.

I'm grateful about everything God gave to me. Kahit hindi na ako nakakapagsimba madalas, still, hindi niyo pa rin ako pinapabayaan. You're still with me. Thank you so much po.

Oh yes, this post is about thank you's. Hahaha! Its the season to give thanks and to be happy. Merry Christmas and Happy Happy Birthday Jesus! :)

xx

Cady

Too tired of...

I have a lot of reasons why I am tired... but I don't want to elaborate it anymore. Pero lalo lang akong napapagod dahil sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. I don't know pero siguro may ugali rin ako na kagaya ng kay Frances sa nobela kong "Close To You". Wala akong pakialam. HAHAHA!!!

Dahil siguro sa dami ko ng problema, ayaw ko ng problemahin ang problema ng iba. Oh well, nakaka-stress kaya! Saka bakit ba yung ibang tao... napakahilig pansinin yung faults ng iba? Yung mistakes nila? They don't know what is happening to them. They don't know the real thing. They are not in their shoes. So why mind their business? Di ba? Nakakaasar lang.

I'm posting this because I really hate people who always look at the faults of other. Haller, tignan niyo muna yung faults niyo. Saka yung actions niyo bago kayo mamula sa iba. You don't know.. ginagawa niyo rin naman yun! I'm not saying this by experience.. well, its kinda pala. Basta. Nakakaasar lang.

xx

Cady