Okay, this shouldn't be the post that I'm going to make when I checked my blogger account and decided to make the post I have been thinking for two nights already. Pero dahil sa dalawang karanasan ko ngayong araw... I ended up writing this post.
Ano `yung dalawang experience na `yun?
1. I met with two of my highschool best friends today. Naalala ko pa last time na nagkita kami, around July yata, naglolokohan kami at sinasabing "unemployed" kaming lahat. Hahaha. At ngayon, one of them would have her flight tomorrow in Singapore kaya nagkaroon kami ng farewell meeting kumbaga.
It sad knowing that she would be away for us in two years. Although parang once a year na lang din naman kami nagkikita noong college, parang iba pa rin `yung feeling na sobrang layo niya na sa `yo na kapag weekends at gusto mo siyang yayain, di mo na siya mayaya. Pero while I was left alone because they need to leave na since its getting late at kailangan niya pang mag-ayos at magpaalam ng ayos sa pamilya niya this night at ako naman ay inaantay ang Kuya ko na susundo sa akin sa coffee shop kung saan kami nagkita-kita, napagtanto ko na... bakit parang napapag-iwanan na yata ako.
Okay---not really. My other best friend still doesn't have a job. Yet, magmamasteral siya next sem so she was already building her future. And what about me? I'm still in the path that I was enjoying but well, not really practical.
2. Nabasa ko lang naman ang blog ni MR and yay... we're just feeling the same way. http://someonelikeruth.blogspot.com/2014/08/college-graduate-blues.html Yan ang blogpost niya at lahat ng sinabi niya diyan, nararamdaman ko.
Alam mo `yung feeling na noong college ka, wala ka ng bukang bibig na sana maka-graduate na ako. But no! Pinagsisihan ko ang lahat ng ito nang magsimula nang mag-work ang mga classmate ko. Not that I am having trouble finding work because I think that work was having trouble to pursue me. Hahaha! Can you believe? Minsan hindi ako nag-apply pero ang dami kong natatanggap na "for interview" messages and sometimes, I even received a call. Hindi lang basta-bastang company yung iba but they are all declined.
Fine---I'll admit na naghanap ako ng work when I graduated from college. Oh and I did my first real job interview the day before graduation. Actually, feeling ko, dito ko talaga na-realize na wag muna mag-work. Why? My first interview was from Toyota Alabang. At noon ko lang nalaman na kapag dealer pala, may Saturday work. Allergic ako sa Saturday stress kaya parang nanlumo ako noon na kahit tinawagan nila ako for a second interview, nag-decline ako. Napag-isip-isip ko ang future ko on my bus ride going home that time. Ewan ko ba, sobrang na-pressure yata ako ng time na `yun at naghanap ako ng work, naging determined mag-jobstreet and so on. Pero lahat ng na-receive kong for interviews, I declined after that. Dahil iniisip ko pa lang na magwowork ako regularly, naiiyak na ako.
So I decided to just rest and go on with my real plans---ang hindi muna mag regular work. I am writing and it seems good for me. Okay, matagal ang feedback at ibig sabihin lang ay matagal ang pera pero never akong nabobored ako sa ginagawa ko which most people are asking to me. Pero ano ba ang masasabi ko? I am happy with what I am doing. And can you believe? I have wrote 13 manuscripts since I started in May so in few months time, kapag na-approve ang ilan ko pang pending at to be submitted na MS---I'm going to have a salary raise. So money is not really a problem for me...
Pero... my course is really different with the job I have right now. Siguro nga ay may kinikita ako pero ano? Feeling ko, ang baba ng tingin sa akin ng mga tao. Ang akala nga yata ng iba ay nahihirapan akong makahanap since nasa bahay lang naman ako. Nakakainis nga rin na may nagsabi sa akin na "Sana `di ka na nag-college kung ganyan din lang naman ang work na babagsakan mo". Sinong hindi matutuwa noon `di ba? But I am enjoying what I am doing. I'm enjoying everything being a writer kahit na ba kailangang sobrang haba talaga ng patience mo. Hahahaha! But what I can do? I am also doing this para naman sa Mommy ko. Kapag nag-work ako, paniguradong mahihirapan na naman siya kasi wala na siyang mauutusan kapag wala na ako sa bahay.
Haay, ang hirap mag-decide. Kung estudyante na lang sana ako.... Hindi na mahirap maggawa ng excuses.
xx
Cady
