Sometimes we tend to deny our feelings to someone because we knew that there is something wrong with him/her.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Shattered

Matagal ko ng pinaghandaan ang panahon na ito. Fourth year high school ako ay nagsimula na akong lumabas nang mag-isa lang ako. Natuto akong manood ng sine na mag-isa, kumain nang mag-isa, mag-mall nang mag-isa, dahil alam ko na sooner, darating ang panahon na magiging mag-isa na lang ako.

It happened now.

Matagal ko ng pinaghandaan ito. Palagi mo na rin naman sinasabi. Pero pagkatapos ng mga taon, hindi pa rin pala ako talagang handa. Minsan sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na kaya ko na siguro. Graduate na nga ako ng college eh. Kumikita na rin in a way.

But no.

I need you. I still need you. Kahit sa kabila ng kapansanan mo, you're still have a big worth, Mommy. Kahit madalas na huli ka na, you still know a lot of things. Minsan hirap ka na masabi pero alam mo pa rin. I still needed those informations.

I still need your presence. Your hugs. Your supports. I need someone to lean on. I need someone to hug whenever I'm stressed. To talk whenever I'm pissed. Kailangan ko pa rin ng kalokohan. Kailangan ko pa rin ng taong gigising sa akin, magsasabing kailangan ko ng kumain, maligo at matulog.

And most of all, I still need your warmth. Ikaw yung nag-iisang tao na kapag niyayakap ko, nararamdaman ko iyong init. The warmth. You make me calm and feel safe everytime....

I still need your guidance.

I still need you in my life.

I feel shattered now you're not here anymore.

I love you and I'm going to miss you forever.

Happy Mother's Day.