Help me, Lord.

Semi-finals. Unfinished manuscripts. Seatworks. Homeworks. Quizzes. These are the things that makes me bothered this week. Pakiramdam ko, mababaliw na ako sa kakaisip. Idagdag pa na gustong-gusto kong magsulat.

Haay. Kanina, pinasa ko na naman si Athena. May feedback na siya last week and returned option to revise siya. Nakakaiyak lang? He-he. Ewan ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, okay lang. Pero ewan ko. Sinunod ko naman ang sinabi ng editor this time. May twist at hindi naman yata common ang conflict ko, I think? Mababaw lang. He-he.  Pero kinakabahan pa din ako. Parang ang bilis ng phasing kahit ang dami ko ng eksena. Ewan ko. pero sana perception ko lang un.

And anyway, naipasa ko na si Ares last time... Ayaw ko buksan ang file. Ayaw kong makakita ng mali. Actually, naiiyak ako. Hirap na hirap ako sa story niya. Dugo't pawis. Kaya kung sakaling ma-returned, feeling ko, iiyak ako. :(((

Kaya Lord God. I feel so down talaga this days... Ang hirap ng mga subjects ko, nahihirapan din ako mag-concentrate. Idagdag pa ang ibang personal kong problema. But I won't give up, `di ba? I can do this.

all izz well.

Azec Chase ♥

Life in BS Accountancy

Hey. Good eve. I'm just browsing my notes in my FB account when I saw this and I decided, even if I can't relate by now because I'm not an accountancy student anymore, to post it. Anyway, I've been a part and I know I will still do this things because I'm still in business course. My 2nd course have also an "accounting" in its name so accounting is also part of it.

...big yellow sheets

...several huge notebooks

...brain-whacking terms

...millions of numbers

...struggling calculators

...statements to finish

...feasibility study

...life-long practice

...thick books to read

...rushing late night work

...ugly eye bags

...unbalance sum

...financial reports

...accuracy problems

...toxic lifestyle

...constant lack of sleep

...nose bleeding final exam

...heart stopping results

...die hard friendships

...people call it “ACCOUNTANCY”...

we call it “LIFE”!

So TRUE. I've been there and its really hell. So Accounting majors, relate? :)

Azec Chase. ♥

A poem to remember

Napapansin ko, matagal-tagal na din ako di nakakapag-post. Mga 10 days or more na? Ang dami ko nga sana gusto sabihin. But I am afraid na baka mabasa nang mga taong hindi dapat makabasa. Hahaha. Kaya poems na lang ang ipagpo-post ko. 

This poem is dedicated to my 2nd year classmates--the Alexandrians. :) Ang pinakamakulit na section sa buong highschool department yata noon. So here it is:

SA ALEXANDER PULOS KAKULITAN

MGA KAKLASE NAMI'Y NAGLALAKIHAN

ANG PISO DITO'Y PALAGING PINAGLALARUAN

ANG IBA NAMAN AY LAGING NAGTUTULUGAN

SI MIGUEL AT GARY AY PALAGI NG TULOG

SI AVERY AT GARNET NAMAN AY KALOG

ANG PANG-ASAR NAMAN KAY JUVINAL AY ITLOG

ANG MUKHA NAMAN NI ROAN AY BILOG

MARAMI DITO ANG MAGKAKABARKADA

JEWELS AT SPARTANS ANG NANGUNGUNA

SPADZ GIRLS ANG GRUPO NILA BERNA

KARABOYZ NAMAN ANG BARKADA NG IBA

ANG GANDA GANDA NI MS. CORONADO

ASTIG AT BAGETS NAMAN IBA NAMING GURO

TULAD NA LANG NI MS. SUMAGUE AT SIR PARDUCHO

NGUNIT KAMI AY SUKI NA SA D.O.

NOONG INTRAMS KAMI AY NANALO

NA OVER-ALL SA BUONG DEPARTAMENTO

SA BASKETBALL AT VOLLEYBALL KAMI AY PANALO

AT KAKAUNTI LAMANG ANG AMING TALO

KAHIT KAMI AY LAGING PINAGAGALITAN

MAYROON DIN KAMING PUSONG NASASAKTAN

KAYA SANA KAMI AY INYONG MAINTINDIHAN

AT PAGPASENSYAHAN SA AMING KAKULITAN...

Azec Chase ♥

Untitled poem

Hi. Good evening :) I just want to share this poem I made a year ago. Its entitled Untitled because I didn't give a title in my original copy which I wrote in a notebook. I missed doing poems but I'm not in a mood to do one tonight thats why I'm just looking for my old notebooks to post one. So here it is:

I'm alive, I'm breathing, My heart is beating

When I'm with you, I always love this feeling

Can you let me call you my everything?

Because without you, my world is nothing

If this is what they called love,

I must thank the GOD above

Because he give me this beautiful love like a dove

And I feel like I am so fab

Ugly things turn pretty when I'm with you

How I wish I can call you my boo

But still, I thank you for caring me like I do

Because this world is odd without you

I love you, thats all I want to hear

I hope you can speak it to my dear

Or you can whisper it in my ear

For this love is the love that I will never fear

Azec Chase ♥

Conversation with God

Good evening. I just saw an inspiring conversation/story with/about God in a facebook fan page. I find it nice so I decided to post it here. GOD is really GOOD.

Me: God, can I ask You a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one

of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children.

 So even if you do have a bad day, still, don't forget to thank God. Everything happens for a reason. :)

Azec Chase ♥

No internet connection

Hi. It’s already 12:16 am here in my laptop clock when I started writing this post in MS word. Yeah, you saw it right. MS word. I wrote it there because we don’t have an internet connection yesterday and today. It sucks. Bigtime. I feel like I’m missing everything in the cyber world.

I feel so miserable without having an internet. I’m used to it and the thought of losing it makes me feel of a slow murder. Many will say that I’m addicted with it but I don’t give a damn. I feel like I will die without  internet. No facebook, twitter, yahoo and most of all, no GOOGLE TALK.

I missed him so much. We don't have much time to talk about things lately. I know---I feel it in his mails/offline messages that he misses me, too. *sighs. I badly wanted to talk to HIM for the things that happened to me these past few days. I wanted to know also the things that happened to him. I really miss him. Last last week, I was busy finishing a manuscript so I seldom chat him. Last week, I was busy too, finishing City Hunter and studying. I’m always the one who will said, “let’s talk later”. Then this week, the problem is the internet connection. Uggh. I know we don’t have a relationship (maybe, an official one? Har-har) But I can’t control this urge in me to feel sad if I saw him offline when I love to see him online.

So they say, absence makes the heart grows fonder. And maybe thats what I am feeling right now.

Azec Chase ♥

Fallen in Love - Lauren Kate

Conversation between Roland and Cam:

Roland: I love a mortal woman. I want to shape my life around her.

Cam: You don't have a life. You're a fallen angel on the other side. You're a demon.

Roland: You know what I mean.

Cam: Take it from me. LOVE IS IMPOSSIBLE. Get out and save yourself the heartache.

Hi!. Good evening. I just finished Fallen in Love by Lauren Kate this afternoon/evening. I've been a fan for...less than a year? Ha-ha. If you got to see some of my posts, I post reviews in Fallen and Torment. But not Passion. Why? Because Passion didn't got my interest. I don't know. I got bored in some scenes that's why I had it finished for a week and didn't make a review out of it. *no offense for those who liked it. 

Anyways, I still love the series. Fallen, the first series is the one which I really like. I fell in love with Cameron. Not Daniel Grigori(the protagonist) because he's not my type. I don't like blonde guys. I'm a sucker of good-looking people who had green eyes and dark hair---and yeah, that's Cam. Even if most of the time, he appeals to be the antagonist in the story.

The book is nice even if Cam's moments were just few. Shelby and Miles Story is kinda...okay? Not to sweet, not so ordinary. Roland's story, my favorite part is somehow sad because Rosaline had a new love in Valentines day and already had her children. Nevertheless, Roland realized that they are never meant to each other. I admired him for that. Arriane--even if her partner is a devil and a girl. (well yeah, Arriane is a lesbian) is good. I enjoyed the last part. Make my eyes kinda teary because I felt sad because of their burning love. Luce and Daniel's, well, not so good. (for me) its just like Passion again. 

Anyways, I saw in twitter that Lauren Kate have been receiving feedbacks about Cam's few exposure. And she said that if we are guessing what will happened why the story is like that. I saw a reply saying that maybe Cam had his own story. And damn! I'm shaking because of too much happiness. I really really want Cam to have his own story. And if possible, I want to be his heroine even if I knew he already have which is Lilith who abandoned him because Cam can't marry her in the church.

Rapture will be out early June. *excited. Its the last book and I guessed there were many secrets that will be revealed. Go Luce and Daniel. Fight for your love. :)

Azec Chase ♥

Disenchanted

Hi. I just want to share this poem that I made last last year for my English class. I got the title from the song of My Chemical Romance "Disenchanted". It tackles about my life. 

Sort of. 

Disenchanted

Can I live with the sadness?

Can I live without the happiness?

Maybe I am a princess,

But now, I live like I'm a damsel in distress

Once upon a time, I was living with wealth

But suddenly it turned to death

And all the joy that I have felt,

Became empty and nothing left

There’s no knight in shining armor

That will always there and no favor

Life has different seasons and flavor

So happy endings, what’s that for?

So busy

Hi. Medyo matagal-tagal na din simula nang mag-post ako. Ngayon lang kasi "feeling" ko, lumuwag ang schedule ko. He-he.

Last week, I finished Athena's story. Kapatid siya ni Venus--iyong partner ni Derrick sa isang approved novel ko. Nag-try lang ako..na gawan siya ng story. Madami akong naging plot sa kanya pero palagi na lang hindi natutuloy. Good thing, nakatapos ako for this one. But I can sense "R" with this... Why? Ewan ko. Feel ko lang. Feeling ko kasi, hindi maganda. Hindi kasi siya nakakatawa? He-he. I like comedy kasi, eh... Kahit may mga novels akong drama. Mas nakaka-enjoy kasi gumawa ng comedy novels.

Anyway, 6 days ko siyang nagawa. Katulad ng mga manuscripts ko. Pero lets just pray na sana, mag-"A". Hehehe. Kahit revision, okay lang. Huwag lang, "R". Masasaktan ako. Choz!

So Sunday I'm okay na. Nai-pass ko na siya Saturday night. Sunday morning, nagsimba kami ni Mommy pero umuwi din ako kaagad kahit niyaya niya ako sa Jollibee. Uhm,, may kaunting problem kasi sa stomach ko. Kaya, u know na? Hahaha. Tapos tulog hanggang 12:30, Nanuod ng City Hunter. Episode 1 and 2. (At oo, ang guwapo ni Lee Min Ho. Hahaha) After that, nagyaya si Mommy sa Calamba to watch A Mother's Story na ako pa ang umiyak kaysa kay Mommy. Kumain kami nina Kuya sa Mang Inasal na hindi ako makakain ng ayos. IDK. Walang appetite? Haay. Basta.

Then nanood din yata ng City Hunter hanggang Monday. Tanghali na gumising. Mag-isa lang sa bahay. Wala pasok ng Monday pero busy pa din dahil sa City Hunter.

Tuesday, Taxation. Maaga akong pumasok dahil hindi ako gumawa ng assignment. He-he. Tapos excited umuwi dahil gusto tapusin ang City Hunter pero naudlot kasi nagpunta kami sa Alabang. Pinaggawa pa ni Kuya ng HTML niya. Ang bait kong kapatid `no?

Wednesday, 10:30 na naggising. Nag-aral sa Quantech. Oo nag-aral ako. Aba, kailangan eh. Bagsak kaya ako nung Prelims. Kaya nagsisipag sa Quantech. 3 oras yata ako nag-aral. Tapos nood ulit City Hunter. Mga 4:30, umuwi sa mga Lola ko. Past 8 na dumating at tinapos ang City Hunter. Yey! Natapos ko din. Bitin lang ending. I'm not satisfied talaga! Grrr.

Then today, Thursday. hell day. 9am na class kasi make-up class sa Quantech + quiz at recitation sa HRM + Quantech na naman. (3 hours!) + Physical Science na wlaa na akong sinabi kundi... GUTOM na ako.... Kasi naman, wala talagang break + Filipino na wala naman kaming ginawa ng ka-group ko kundi mag-kuwentuhan sa Arabo. Hahaha!


Grabe, ang non-sense na naman `no? I know. Alam ko naman kasi na ako lang nagbabasa nito kaya sinasabi ko lang ang gusto ko. hahaha.

Azec Chase ♥

Troopers Reunited

Hi. January 14, 2012. Hindi ko akalain na magkakaroon ng mini-reunion ang HS barkada ko...ang 3rd year classmates ko w/c we called our group, "Troopers". Troopers kasi we belong in Saint Christopher class. Topher, troopers. Gets? Hahaha. Actually, kaya gumanda ang HS life ko ay dahil sa kanila. Marami akong good, funny and sometimes sad memories din. Pero keri gore, sad part is part of life. But I'm still happy to meet my friends again.

Its Darl's debut that day. Kabilang ako sa mga 18 chocolates ni Darl. Nalagasan tuloy ako ng 106 pesos. Haha! Pero okay lang, birthday eh. Saka free food. Akala ko mga 6 lang kami a-attend ganun-ganun. But umabot sa 16. He-he. kasi mga HS friends ko ngayon, mahirap na hagilapin. Hindi kagaya nung HS na isang text mo lang, swimming na kayo. Ngayon kasi, we parted college schools. Ni hindi ko nga alam ang mga cellphone number nung iba. Then marami din, sa Manila na napasok. So bihirang-bihira na talaga kami magkita.

I was happy hindi lang dahil sa nagkita kami ng mga friends ko. Dahil iyon ay sa ka-partner ni Rainie. (for more details, please see my post, Selfish Love) Hindi ko mabanggit ang name niya dahil mahahalata talaga ako. The whole night kasi ay halos _____ lagi kami. I can't say the words. Paano kung may makahalata at makabasa nito na HS friend ko? Lagot ako for sure. Kung bakit kasi hindi ko maamin sa tao na crush ko siya...NOON? :P

Nagkuwento siya sa akin...I was shocked in some parts. I can't believe it. Naawa ako sa kanya. In my mind, habang kinukuwento niya sa akin iyon, nasa isip ko, "Kung ako na lang kasi ang nakita mo, edi walang problema!" Pero hindi, eh. Hindi talaga.

Gusto kong magkuwento nang magkuwento tungkol sa kanya pero inaantok--este, hindi talaga puwede. I cant say my feelings because I am damn shy. Shit talaga.

But anyway, ilayo na lang natin sa kanya. Sa mga ibang classmates ko na lang. Marami sa kanila ang nagbago, physically? Pero may mga ugali din na hindi nababago. Na nakakainis minsan pero masaya pa rin the whole night. Well, nagtulukan nga pala kami este sila pala dahil hindi ako nakitulak pero nabuhat ako sa swimming pool. Nakaligi tuloy sa ma-chlorine na swimming pool ng 3:30AM. Isipin niyo na lang kung gaano ako naka-recover sa ginaw ng oras na iyon.

Malakas kasi talaga mga topak nung mga classmates ko na iyon. Naka-ilang swimming kaya kami nung HS. Lagi din kaming tambay sa resort na iyon dahil ang may-ari nun ay classmate din namin. After exam, lagi kaming tambay doon. Picture-an, kulitan at minsan, lubluban sa swimming pool kahit naka-uniform. I will never not remember that time talaga na nakauniform, naglubluban sa pool. Ang daming memories...hindi ko na maisa-isa. Pero talagang TROOPERS became the most reason why I enjoyed Highschool so much. Kung na-experience mo na mapunta sa section namin nung 3rd year, I'll tell you, gugustuhin mong bumalik ng Highschool.

So uulitin ko, I am very happy that we  reunite. Kahit hindi lahat. At least, nagkita muli kami...And I'm looking forward for the next meetings...Sana meron pa. at mas madami na sa susunod :)

Azec Chase ♥