Haay.. I'm currently on chapter seven of an independent novel. And God, napu-frustrate talaga ko! Noong una, ang sipag-sipag ko magsulat and I'm so proud of myself dahil feeling ko, ang bilis ko. Then ngayong nasa chapter seven na ako... naiiyak na ako! God, hindi ko po alam kung tama itong ginagawa ko. Hindi ko alam kung nakakilig ba siya or what. Or okay lang ba iyong mga nasa isip ng characters. O kung okay lang ba iyong mga ginagawa nila.
I told myself I should finish this on Wednesday dahil hanggang first week of March lang puwedeng ipasa ang MS na ito. And errrrr... I hate myself for being so pressured. Exam week kasi naman this week. Thursday ang start. And mahirap ang first subject. Nakakalito kaya kailangang mag-aral ng mabuti. Plus may reporting aka defense sa Advance Accounting sa Saturday! Di ko alam kung makakaya ko kahit may partner at marami naman kaming magkaka-group. pero sana! Huhuhu
Wala lang. Gusto ko lang talaga iparating na napu-frustrate ako sa manuscript pati na rin sa buhay ko ><
xx
Cady
Monday, February 25, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Missing you
Its been more than a week since we last talk. And I missed you so badly. I don't know what's happening to you or even where are you. But I am hoping... you are fine.
Sometimes I want to hate myself because I want to be selfish. I want you to be here with me. To make you back to the old you. But I realized, who am I to tell you what I want? To tell you that prioritized me? I am just your friend. And you always told me that your study is more important anything else. By now.
If I had just the right... I always told that to myself. But I am thinking, if ever I have, would I tell you how I feel? Would I tell you what I really want? I know this is your dream and you are happy pursuing it especially that you are in a place you wanted to be the most. I should let you do this. This is for your future. I know I should be happy... and that's what I think I really should feel for you. I should just feel proud for you and stop nagging and feeling bad because of how you treated me these days. And I am doing that. No! I mean, I am trying to do that because everytime I think of you, I want to nag and tell these bad things that I feel for you. >_<
How many months since we were like this? We haven't talk for so long. Everytime I miss your "hi", I want to curse myself because its like I've been missing your "hi" for a month. Heck, I even sacrifice one of the things I want just to talk to you when you said we can talk on that day. I left the group because I want to talk to you. See? I prioritized and think of you more than that thing which is nearly a dream for me. That's how much I missed you.
I missed your hi. I missed your harhar. I missed your groggy voice whenever we are talking in Skype. I missed how you tell me to study well, take care of my mom, take care of myself and everything. I even missed how you want me to be like you. I missed everything we share together. And I missed the feeling you are giving me even if we are miles apart.
I missed you. I wish that you were here.
xx
Cady
Sometimes I want to hate myself because I want to be selfish. I want you to be here with me. To make you back to the old you. But I realized, who am I to tell you what I want? To tell you that prioritized me? I am just your friend. And you always told me that your study is more important anything else. By now.
If I had just the right... I always told that to myself. But I am thinking, if ever I have, would I tell you how I feel? Would I tell you what I really want? I know this is your dream and you are happy pursuing it especially that you are in a place you wanted to be the most. I should let you do this. This is for your future. I know I should be happy... and that's what I think I really should feel for you. I should just feel proud for you and stop nagging and feeling bad because of how you treated me these days. And I am doing that. No! I mean, I am trying to do that because everytime I think of you, I want to nag and tell these bad things that I feel for you. >_<
How many months since we were like this? We haven't talk for so long. Everytime I miss your "hi", I want to curse myself because its like I've been missing your "hi" for a month. Heck, I even sacrifice one of the things I want just to talk to you when you said we can talk on that day. I left the group because I want to talk to you. See? I prioritized and think of you more than that thing which is nearly a dream for me. That's how much I missed you.
I missed your hi. I missed your harhar. I missed your groggy voice whenever we are talking in Skype. I missed how you tell me to study well, take care of my mom, take care of myself and everything. I even missed how you want me to be like you. I missed everything we share together. And I missed the feeling you are giving me even if we are miles apart.
I missed you. I wish that you were here.
xx
Cady
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Another writing plan
Yesterday, I was with my friends dahil na rin pumunta ako sa PHR office to get my check for Stock's story. Yes! Approve na po ang 2nd book for my trilogy. My plan is to make the 3rd book---Price pero dahil kailangang may isingit ako, mga next month na siguro siya. Hehe!
Nabanggit ni Miss Agnes ang tungkol sa new imprint ng PHR na ila-launch sa Grand Fans day sa May. Kailangang by first week of March ay mapasa na siya. Dahil kalagitnaan na ngayon ng February at ang plano ko ngang itumba na si Price, I said to myself that I will not write. Pero dahil sa kadahilanang gusto kong magka-sure release before or sa mismong Grand Fans Day, I decided to write on this imprint.
Ayaw kong magdetails about the imprint dahil baka bawal i-leak. Hehe! Gusto ko lang sabihin na plan kong gumawa since nakaisip naman agad ako ng plot para sa imprint. Ang kulang lang sa akin ay "time" and "concentration" how will I write this. Pero dahil wala naman kaming klase hanggang Wednesday at sa Thursday naman ay isa lang ang klase ko, I decided na gawin na siya. As in agad-agad!
I have a problem with my writing life nowadays---nahihirapan akong mag-concentrate, ang bilis kong tamarin. Dati ay one week or less, kaya kong tumumba ng manuscript kahit may pasok sa school, ngayon ay umaabot ng one and a half month! Nakakaloka `no? But I need to deprived myself to all those procrastination around me. I want to do this. Bawal tamarin. Kailangang magsipag for this imprint since mayroong deadline at inaantay na rin ako ni Price. Yay! So please, pray for my sanity and for the success of this story.
xx
Cady
Nabanggit ni Miss Agnes ang tungkol sa new imprint ng PHR na ila-launch sa Grand Fans day sa May. Kailangang by first week of March ay mapasa na siya. Dahil kalagitnaan na ngayon ng February at ang plano ko ngang itumba na si Price, I said to myself that I will not write. Pero dahil sa kadahilanang gusto kong magka-sure release before or sa mismong Grand Fans Day, I decided to write on this imprint.
Ayaw kong magdetails about the imprint dahil baka bawal i-leak. Hehe! Gusto ko lang sabihin na plan kong gumawa since nakaisip naman agad ako ng plot para sa imprint. Ang kulang lang sa akin ay "time" and "concentration" how will I write this. Pero dahil wala naman kaming klase hanggang Wednesday at sa Thursday naman ay isa lang ang klase ko, I decided na gawin na siya. As in agad-agad!
I have a problem with my writing life nowadays---nahihirapan akong mag-concentrate, ang bilis kong tamarin. Dati ay one week or less, kaya kong tumumba ng manuscript kahit may pasok sa school, ngayon ay umaabot ng one and a half month! Nakakaloka `no? But I need to deprived myself to all those procrastination around me. I want to do this. Bawal tamarin. Kailangang magsipag for this imprint since mayroong deadline at inaantay na rin ako ni Price. Yay! So please, pray for my sanity and for the success of this story.
xx
Cady
Saturday, February 16, 2013
One of my exes.
One of my exes is one of the worldwide trending topics on twitter last Valentines Day. Actually, gusto ko nga sanang mag-tweet na may kasamang hash tag niyan noong Valentines Day, iyon nga lang, baka makita nung friend nung ex ko at asarin na naman ako sa kanya---which is palagi niyang ginagawa kapag nagdadrama ako sa love. LOL.
But anyway, may iti-tweet naman talaga dapat ako about that hash tag. One of my exes chatted me on Valentines Day! Medyo nagulat ako kasi ang tagal na simula ng last conversation namin. I think, 1st year college? I'm now in my 3rd year. Mahigit isang taon na rin simula ng magkausap kami. Friends kami sa FB pero di kami nag-uusap. Bihira lang din naman siyang magbukas ng FB.
Then iyon nga, nagka-chat kami last Thursday and he even asked me whats my cellphone number. We lost contacts na rin kasi. At wala na ako actually balak i-contact siya dahil I'm totally over him! Hahah! He's my last boyfriend...and that was in HS! Nagbago na ako ngayong college. Fling na lang. LOL. Ayaw ko ng i-text siya since ayaw ko na rin na mapalapit sa kanya. Nagre-reply ako pero kapag walang kuwenta iyong text niya, di na ako nagrereply. Last Friday, di na rin siya nagtetext and I conclude na siguro hindi na ulit siya magtetext.
Pero noong saturday, nangamusta na naman siya. Nireplyan ko naman since mayroon akong load that time kasi nasa Manila ako. I need to have communications with my family and friends if ever magtext sila sa akin. Ayaw ko rin naman maging rude sa kanya nire-replyan ko na rin. Medyo naiinis lang ako sa sarili kasi habang katext ko siya, feeling ko na-e-excite ako sa reply niya. Tingin ako ng tingin sa cellphone ko. I don't want to have that feelings again with a guy. Pakiramdam ko kasi, para akong umaasa when the truth is ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na talaga!
For now, ayaw ko ng mapalapit iyong damdamin ko sa isang guy. Ewan ko ba, nahihirapan kasi ako if ever na may magbago sa pagitan naming dalawa. Like what happened to me and Riyan. Super close namin dati tapos ngayon... once a week 5 minutes chat? Minsan nga, hindi pa. Napu-frustrate lang ako. Naiiyak lang ako kapag napapagtripan kong basahin iyong mga conversations namin sa skype or sa gmail. Nababadtrip lang ako kapag pinagko-compara ko kung paano niya ako batiin last year and this year... kung paano niya ako i-chat. kung paano iyong treatment niya sa akin before and today.
So siguro ay buburahin ko na lang muli itong number ng ex ko dahil sa mga dahilan kong ito. He-he!
#Nonsensepost
xx
Cady
But anyway, may iti-tweet naman talaga dapat ako about that hash tag. One of my exes chatted me on Valentines Day! Medyo nagulat ako kasi ang tagal na simula ng last conversation namin. I think, 1st year college? I'm now in my 3rd year. Mahigit isang taon na rin simula ng magkausap kami. Friends kami sa FB pero di kami nag-uusap. Bihira lang din naman siyang magbukas ng FB.
Then iyon nga, nagka-chat kami last Thursday and he even asked me whats my cellphone number. We lost contacts na rin kasi. At wala na ako actually balak i-contact siya dahil I'm totally over him! Hahah! He's my last boyfriend...and that was in HS! Nagbago na ako ngayong college. Fling na lang. LOL. Ayaw ko ng i-text siya since ayaw ko na rin na mapalapit sa kanya. Nagre-reply ako pero kapag walang kuwenta iyong text niya, di na ako nagrereply. Last Friday, di na rin siya nagtetext and I conclude na siguro hindi na ulit siya magtetext.
Pero noong saturday, nangamusta na naman siya. Nireplyan ko naman since mayroon akong load that time kasi nasa Manila ako. I need to have communications with my family and friends if ever magtext sila sa akin. Ayaw ko rin naman maging rude sa kanya nire-replyan ko na rin. Medyo naiinis lang ako sa sarili kasi habang katext ko siya, feeling ko na-e-excite ako sa reply niya. Tingin ako ng tingin sa cellphone ko. I don't want to have that feelings again with a guy. Pakiramdam ko kasi, para akong umaasa when the truth is ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na talaga!
For now, ayaw ko ng mapalapit iyong damdamin ko sa isang guy. Ewan ko ba, nahihirapan kasi ako if ever na may magbago sa pagitan naming dalawa. Like what happened to me and Riyan. Super close namin dati tapos ngayon... once a week 5 minutes chat? Minsan nga, hindi pa. Napu-frustrate lang ako. Naiiyak lang ako kapag napapagtripan kong basahin iyong mga conversations namin sa skype or sa gmail. Nababadtrip lang ako kapag pinagko-compara ko kung paano niya ako batiin last year and this year... kung paano niya ako i-chat. kung paano iyong treatment niya sa akin before and today.
So siguro ay buburahin ko na lang muli itong number ng ex ko dahil sa mga dahilan kong ito. He-he!
#Nonsensepost
xx
Cady
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