Guide Me

If there is a simple word that would best describe my last 2 weeks... Its a living hell. And unfortunately, its not yet the end.

Next week will be our FS defense days. Our group is scheduled to have it on Thursday. And I am freaking nervous! Even if we got the kindest (they say) set of panel, still, I can't help but to be pressured. Especially that days are coming and coming. I know I am not the only one in this. But still....

This FS defense feels like our ticket for graduation. Next sem would be our internship. And yes, I am already cleared my medical exam so I am sure that I will be going to have it in Toyota Sta. Rosa. Problem solved with that. Only this defense.

I try so hard to let this pressure out. Today, I totally have myself a day off. But this Sunday seems so boring... I am so lazy I am only in my room the whole day. I watch movies, sleep and read. But it still doesn't release the pressure away. And I feel like it just gets worse. The last movie I watch just intensified this pressure because of the "failure" that happened to the hero. Oh God, I really imagine myself being in his shoes that time. What if questions comes to my mind that I nearly shut off the laptop. Even if it has a good ending, it still affects me a lot.

I still have some doubts with our paper though. But we have something to defend on that if the panel asked about that kind of problem. Still, I am not satisfied. What if the panel didn't accept our answer to that? The head of our set of panels is intelligent. He had a lot of questions but he was kind. I know that since he was my professor in 4 subjects this sem. See? 4 SUBJECTS AND THAT'S ALL ACCOUNTING SUBJECT! He was also a CPA, MBA and do have a doctor degree! Even if we knew him and we have high hopes that he will never failed us since he knew the hardships we faced through this... STILL...

Uggghhh! Please God. Give me peace of mind. I can't sleep well,  I can't eat well. Most of the times I would just woke up and think of the FS. I even have nightmares! Help me God. Guide me.

xx

Cady