To write books...

Good evening! ~~ I just want to share my plans in writing. Yes, I have plans. I am not that lazy though. Just slight! Joke! I'm really lazy and most of the times busy in my social network accounts. Lol. I mean, I'm also studying and I don't have all the time in writing because I do have responsibilities in my family, studies, dogs and Bubble Safari . Hahahaha. Sorry.

I already said this in one of my recent post. I'm planning to make a trilogy. AGAIN. My first plan went to the trash bin because the first book was returned to me and I think that there's no hope in revising that. I just wished that this second one would be a success.

The Playboy Millionaires Trilogy:

Its about 3 brothers, I mean half brothers who are all playboys, businessmen and millionaires. The names of the hero's and some of the characters were also related about money/accounting and business.

The Playboy Millionaires 1: In Love With Cash

I'm currently writing this one. Just because I recently read Newlyweds of Convenience by Jessica Hart, I'm trying to have a marriage for convenience type of story. I think its a cute type of story and I challenge myself to write one.

The Playboy Millionaires 2: Playing With Stock

Childhood Sweethearts/Playmates and became pretend lovers kind of story.

The Playboy Millionaires 3: The Price of Love

A secretly in love guy with his sisters best friend.

---------------------------

The Event Planners - a series with my writer friends, Nikki Del Rosario, Nikki Karenina, Skye Reyes, Luna King and me.

My story, Callie's story, will be a secretly in love best friend to her hero! I don't want to be the first one with this because I'm afraid of taking the risk of doing again in best friend love stories! I always fail! Hahaha!

Camp Speed 5: Fall Into Me

Its also a series with my writer friends, Nikki Karenina, Skye Reyes, Marione Ashley, Nikki Del Rosario and of course, yours truly. XD And because I'm the last one with the first five, I'm not yet doing anything---except for the teaser and concept of this. But I already have the concept so I think it would be easy for me. I just need pressure. Chos! My plan is that the hero is a secretly in love (again) guy to his late best friend's sister. This would be like my first novel, Happily Ever After in His Arms, I think...? Ho-ho.

Loving The Playboy

And yes! A playboy again. But I'm not yet sure with this...because this would be a story of my life! Hahaha

Ares Story (still don't have a title)

I already made a story for Ares---Artemis father in I'll stay in love with you---but because I think thats a major fail, I do have another plan for him! Ha-ha! But I will do this if ever it will have the feedback of return. If revision or a miracle approve, I will not pursue this kind of story anymore... The concept is...a secret! Chos! Still finalizing...

So what do you think? Do you think an 18 year old super lazy girl can do all of this? Hahaha! Just please pray for my sanity.

xx

Cady

Trust

Good evening! Last Monday I met a guy in a chat site. I felt bored that night thats why I went there. Then mukha namang mabait ang guy na ito dahil hindi siya iyong lalaking madalas kong i-disconnect. So I consider chatting him and add him sa facebook. And yes, sa Cady, dahil hindi iyon ang personal account ko.

I told Riyan what happened. Ako naman kasi iyong tipo ng taong palaging sinasabi ang lahat sa kanya. Parang diary ko kaya iyon. Then hindi naman niya gaanong pinansin. Until today.

Nakasabay ko silang maka-chat and I told him na sorry kung mukha akong boring kausap ngayon kasi may ka-chat pa akong iba bukod sa `yo. Sinabi ko nga naka-chat ko rin iyong guy na sinabi ko sa kanya. Sabi niya, di naman daw niya masyadong pinansin iyong k-in-opy ko na pag-uusap namin from that chat site. Sabi niya, wala naman daw siyang karapatan na mag-intrude sa freedom ko kaya hinayaan na lang niya. Pero may sinabi siya sa akin.

This was his words:

HIM: but i strongly feel that he is an Indian and he is trying to cheat you

  HIM: i dont knowHIM: i may be wrong aloshis closing remarks looks like he is trying to fish

  some men are like that

  they act smart and decent in the begning

 HIM: they leave a bite for others to get attracted

  thats my view

(marami pa sana akong gustong idagdag, nga lamang, baka mabasa ni toooot at maghinala siya) :P


At ako naman itong si Tanga, kinontra ko p ang sinabi niya. Feeling ko tuloy, ang mean ko. Siya na kaya iyong concern sa akin tapos bigla ko pa siyang sinabihan na "Maybe it was also your style to others". Then kinopy paste niya nang kinopy paste ang line na iyon. Hindi man niya sabihin, feeling ko, nasaktan siya dahil sa sinabi ko. Siguro dahil inisip ko na katulad ng guy na iyon, ganoon rin siya. Kahit alam kong ang totoo ay hindi naman.

I have so much trust to Riyan. And I know I had his trust, too. Lahat na yata, napag-usapan namin. Sabi nga niya sa akin, mas matagal pa raw niyang nakakausap ako kaysa sa mga friends or relatives niya sa telepono. Paano, ang dami naming kuwento sa isa't isa. He was my bestest friend. I like his frankness when it comes to me. Ang honest-honest niya to the point na minsan nakakairita na ang pagka-honest niya! Hehe ~~~


xx
Cady

Of stress and plot...

Today is a very stressful day! First day in the morning, I almost shout at our room telling my classmates I forgot to bring a calculator. We have 2 exams for the day that badly needs a calculator, Taxation and Financial Accounting 2. I left my calculator at home because I "tried" to study at my room last night and I forgot to put it in my bag when I left. Good thing I was able to borrow from my classmate in BSA because there first class doesn't use calculator.

Exam in Tax was okay. Its hard, maybe because we can't compute some of the problems but some theories there are okay. I studied a little in Tax that's why I was able to answer some. But in FA and Law, I didn't so my exam is a total disaster. Especially that I didn't expected that our exam would be that hard!

I don't have that much problem in Financial Accounting because I knew how my teacher made exams. It was more on theories and less computations/problems. But darn! This semi-final exam is more on problems! I tried to study in my vacant hour with the subject and I just studied the theories and never look at the problems! So think how miserable I am while taking that darn exam! And law---I thought it would be easy too because I've heard that our example would be just True or False. But darn! Even if its just a True or False type of exam, I was miserable again. Why? Because I didn't study again and I thought that our exam is more in situational problems. Its more on terms that I really haven't look at.

But while answering and try to review for my exams, I got the time to think of a plot. And yessss, A PLOT! For a new trilogy I would like to start. Hahahah! Darn you, Accounting! Its all because of you!

Because of my major and course, I love to have this trilogy that is related with that. Like the names of the characters and all. Stock, Bond and Cash! Ho-ho. And I also thought of a name for the trilogy. But it will still be a secret. Why? Because I don't know if I really would pursue this. But maybe... Maybe, I will. Sembreak itineraries?! I hope I could.

#Nonsense post


xx
Cady

Differences

Love cannot change what is meant to be.

 Like the man in his own destiny.

 `Cause without compatibility, 

There is no reason to be happy.

Above is a stanza from a poem I made years ago. And I feel like I was hit by that line because of the conversation me and HIM had last Saturday....

I already asked him. What are we? What do you think of me?

And he said he still haven't had a girlfriend so he doesn't have experience on that. He told me he saw me as his "Good friend". That we have a lot of DIFFERENCES. I agree with that. We are different. He's 22, I'm 18. His passion is far-far away from mine and he lived in a far away place from mine. So how it will be? He had different priorities from mine.

I was like... hurt? Yeah. Because I realized how complicated it was. He made me see it. And it feels bad that sometimes I feel like he's special for me but we....

I don't know what to say. We are not compatible so maybe, there is no reason for me to be happy. Just like what I said in the stanza above.

xx

Cady

T_T

I have the urge to kill a character again. And yes, really KILL. Hahaha. Joke!

Its just that, why Ares is like this? He shouldn't be like this. Before what happened to my laptop, I love writing his story. I was so excited and thought it would be beautiful. But now, I'm near at the ending, I feel that its... you know, what I mean. I want to abandon him. And kill him! Hahahahah!

I'm having a hard time writing. And I fucking hate it. To the core. I feel like I'm so lazy. I need to have 5 approved manuscripts before the year ends and I still have two, and well, three maybe because of my translation w/c is for minor revision and I am expecting it would be approved next time I will have the feedback.

Then last night, there's a new plot that pops to my mind for Ares' story. I am torn of abandoning the story and making a new one. And its so frustrating I want to kill him! Hahahah! He's such a pain in the ass.

But anyway, I decided to continue this story and if ever it will be returned, I'm going to pursue that new plot.

Please pray for my sanity.

xx
Cady

I'll try to understand.

Good evening! Today, I got good news from HIM. He told me, he got the admission for CASD---for masters. I am so happy for him, really. Its just 18 seats and he was one of the 18 who had the seat for masters. I'm proud of him. And because of that, I will try to understand the situation we will be after it.

Last Friday I posted about my feelings about understanding him. Its hard for me but as days passed, I realized, I really should understand him. He told me that he's just in top 20 and if ever 2 will not turn up for the interview, he can have a seat. And because 5 people didn't turn up in the interview, he got the seat. I realized, its hard competing in that 18 people that are highly expected intelligent people.

I know how it feels when you are with the people who are really intelligent. Pressure will kill you. I already experience that in my first course. All of my classmates were intelligent. I am not used in that kind of environment. If you have read my post about "Buhay BSA", you'll know what I feel and experience in one of the toughest year in my life. I need to study well so I can belong with them. Its like in the case of him.

So I'll try to understand. I'll try not to nag him? Ha-ha. I'll try to cope up with the situation because I know how it feels. I'll also try to focus with mine, (which is his request) Ha-ha! I need to be serious with my studies and well, with my writings, too!

xx
Cady

Realizations 101

Last friday, nawalan kami ng klase sa Finance dahil na-require kaming um-attend ng seminar na nagta-tackle about sa mga international students sa school namin. Marami kasi sa amin na foreigners...and most of them are Nigerians. Actually, mayroon akong classmate na Nigerian sa isang class ko. Sa Marketing. Irregular student kasi ako kaya kung saan-saan akong section napupunta! He-he. Sa Department ko, walang Nigerian student kaya hindi pa ako nakaka-experience kahit na ba last year pa naglipana ang mga Nigerians sa school.

Everytime na papasok iyong classmate kong Nigerian, lagi akong nakatingin sa kanya. Well, hindi lang ako kundi ang iba ko rin na classmate. We we're like, "Oh, Ninang mo,". Naging expression na naman iyon kapag nakikita namin siya. O di kaya kapag may kakaiba sa kanya, sasabihin namin, "Taray ng Ninang mo"...

So I was like, natamaan ako sa seminar na in-attend-an namin. Na-guilty ako. Hindi lang kasi ang mga classmate namin na Nigerian ang palagi naming, sabihin na nating, pinupuna namin palagi. He-he! Hindi rin kami namamansin ng ganoon. Naalala ko, one time, nagtanong sila sa akin sa canteen at hindi ako nakaimik kasi sobrang natakot ako. When the truth is, mababait naman sila.

Na-realize ko, paano kung ako naman ang nagpunta sa ibang bansa? Kunwari, naging exchange student ako o doon ako nagtrabaho. Baka maging ganoon din ako. No friends tapos palagi na lang pinagtitinginan ng mga tao o di kaya pinagtatawanan kasi kakaiba. So kahapon at ngayon, palagi ko ng sinasaway iyong friends ko na, "O, `wag na tayong ganyan, ha". Tapos ngumingiti-ngiti na rin ako sa kanila.

Buti na lang talaga, nakasama kami sa seminar na iyon. Free food na, na-inspire pa ako sa message ng seminar, and well, na-cute-an rin ako sa speaker. So Thank You Mr. Kurt Paolo Sevilla na siyang nagpaliwanag ng lahat kaya nalinawan ako tungkol dito. :)


xx
Cady

Doubts.

Dahil nasira ang laptop ko last last week, hindi ko natapos agad ang kuwento ni Ares. Na noon pa naman, bago ito masira ay tuwang-tuwa kong sinusulat. Pero nang maayos ang laptop ko at hindi naman na-reformat ang mga files, naisip kong baguhin ang kuwento niya. Why? Its because of the characters.

Malaki ang feeling ko na ang characters ko ang magiging problema ko. Si Artemis saka iyong heroine ni Ares. Actually, nakagawa na ako ng novel kay Ares at naipass ko na rin siya. And it turned out to be "tumataginting na return" Hahahaha! Iyong plot ko daw kasi talaga ang problema. Binuhay ko kasi ang patay! :P Ewan ko ba, nag-dream high naman ako masyado na magagawa ko ang ganoong klaseng kuwento. Ayon, na-returned tuloy. Sa isip ko kasi, ayaw ko na ibang babae ang makakatuluyan ni Ares. Na single father talaga ang dating niya! Hehehe! Kaya nag-isip na ako ng bagong istorya sa kanya.

At ito nga, nasa chapter seven na ako. Dati, na-comment sa akin ang tungkol kay Artemis. Na nag-iisip at nag-a-act daw siya ng hindi akma sa edad niya. May mga ganoon naman daw na bata pero hindi daw na-justify sa case niya. May ginawa ako this time, para ma-justify. Na sana nga ay ma-justify ko talaga! Hindi kasi ako nagtitiwala sa sarili ko eh. Iyon namang sa heroine ni Ares, iyong character niya kasi, puwede kaya siyang maging heroine? Errr. She's so clumsy. T___T

So iyon, sana lang talaga kahit ipa-revise muli ito. Itutuloy ko na ang dati kong ginawa. Sana lang talaga.

PS: May nangopya ng I'll Stay In Love With You sa Wattpad. Haay. http://www.wattpad.com/5942383-i%27ll-stay-in-love-with-you-on-going


xx
Cady

I really don't understand.

According to wikipedia, Understanding is a psychological process related to an abstract or physical object, such as a person, situation, or message whereby one is able to think about it and use concepts to deal adequately with that object. Understanding is a relation between the knower and an object of understanding. Understanding implies abilities and dispositions with respect to an object of knowledge sufficient to support intelligent behavior.

But really, how do we understand each other? The thing of you understanding someone, even if you knew there's a way that he could do something to be like that.

He told me he needed to be serious this time because he'll going for masters. Hard studies and everything. I know that it we'll be really hard. But I just 'know'. Its hard to 'understand'. He told me, things between us last year will not be like for this year. He said he will not be able to chat me like before.

We have a very honest relationship. He told me everything. He was frank to me. I like him for that. I try to be very honest, too, with him. But sometimes, I can't. Just like last Friday when he told me that. I said I understand, but deep inside me. I really don't understand.


I can say that I'm also busy. I'm a full-time student and I need to manage my time between the procrastination around me, my studies, the novels that I intend to write and my hobbies. Time is very important to me. But I managed to talk to him. To have more time with him. I managed time with everything.

I know, I shouldn't have write this post. Why? I don't have the right to him. He's not even mine. We're just friends but sometimes, I feel that he was my ........ I don't want to assume but that's what I feel. Even if most of the times, when my friends will tell me he is my boyfriend, I correct them, "No, he's just my best friend." Because I think that's what he thinks of me. But... uggh! I don't have the right to tell him that I'm jealous with your studies because I shouldn't be jealous for all of things around him because I am just his friend. I clearly knew that studies are very important. He even pointed that out to me, that he's studies is more important thab "me"...but...errr... maybe because we have a very different personality. My studies are important but I think everything around me is also important.

My feelings and thoughts are so complicated. Maybe because we also have a complicated relationship.


xx
Cady