Moving on...

2013 bye... 2014, hi.

We are moving on... I just have few wishes for this year and that is...

To graduate --- It feels sad to leave school yet, I want it to end, too. Last year had been a struggle.. my subjects, feasibs and all about school stuffs! So I hope, my internship now would end good and this April... I'll finally March on the stage and get my diploma.

Healthy family --- This is a wish more for my Mom. She seems getting weaker and weaker each year. I hope this year, she wouldn't be like that... I hope she'd be more happy and healthy.

More manuscripts --- as I've said to my last posts.... I'm having a dilemma. I hope this year, I wouldn't experience that.

And yes.. LOVELIFE --- I'm longing for it. Hahaha! Besides, I expect to graduate this year and ehem... HIM, we are the same right? Hahaha!

Thank you 2013. More blessings 2014.

Happy Happy New Year!

xx

Cady

I'm losing it.

Writing is like loving HIM...

Writing is not as easy as what you think... And its the same from HIM. There are nights that you just want to give up because it doesn't seems right. And loving him is like that. Being with him doesn't seems right....

But I love it...

You can't demand in writing and so am I to HIM. In writing, patience is a virtue. You have to cope-up with your editors. I just can't say that I need the feedback now because I need money now. You have to bear in mind that they have other manuscripts to handle and so to HIM. I can't demand to him because I am not only his priorities. He have other works and he has his family, too.

But I love it...

Writing seems not the practical path. As I have said, I can't demand from it. If there's no approved manuscript, you don't have money. And its really hard to support myself if I don't have. Especially that I want to have monthly subscription of something *eherm* secret for now after I graduate. What if I write and its returned? I won't have money. I can't subscribe to that thing. And loving him, its not practical... He is from the other side of the world. We are different beliefs, different culture... How can I be with him?

But I love it...

Writing makes me always wait... and so is HIM. And yes, waiting is not my attitude.

But I love it...

And now, I am losing my drive in writing. And no, its not that I am losing my love from him... Its just that, I have this moment that I feel like I am giving him up because I am hurt. I am not his priority and it breaks my heart like writing now... I am losing it because of some I don't know and can't admit reasons...

It really feels sad feeling this way but... my mind feels like giving up.

Okay, lets talk all about writing now... I feel like giving up because I can't finish a novel anymore. Its been my dilemma since October and... uggh! What is wrong with me? I don't know if its because I am trying to have a new genre in writing or is it because I am really losing it... I can't decide. Plus the pressure that people bring to me.. I have plans after graduation but feels like I can't fulfill it because of what is happening on me right now. I know, I need to decide soon....

But...

I don't want to accept the fact that I am losing it because I love it... It breaks my heart thinking that someday, time will come that I have to let it go and choose the practical path.

I love writing but I need to choose... and knowing me as a practical person... I'm torn between.

xx

Cady

Grateful

Aww... I miss blogging! Medyo busy na kasi saka tinatamaan ng katamaran kaya ngayon na lang nakapag-blog... but anyway, I'm here again so... Hehe!

Today is Christmas and I have so much things to be grateful of. Okay, hindi naman maiiwasan na may problems pa rin... but if I look the things around me, I know, I have a lots of blessings more than that. Kaya kapag nalulungkot ako, kinakalma ko na lang ang sarili ko sa tuwing tinitignan ko ang mga bagay na iyon.

I'm grateful about my Internship. My superiors are all nice. They even give me gifts on Christmas and let me join for their department treats. Kapag may pagkain, di rin puwedeng wala ako. Hahaha! I'm happy I am working for them, with them.

I'm grateful for all the gifts that I receive...  Most of them are unexpected... and I love unexpected gifts!

I'm grateful about HIM... Yes, he doesn't have enough time for me. But still, he remembers me. Kahit na wala siyang PC sa bahay at internet para mabati ako, he still find a way. That's the most important thing for me then.

I'm grateful I have my family and spend the Christmas with them. Thank you for still making us complete this year.

I'm grateful about everything God gave to me. Kahit hindi na ako nakakapagsimba madalas, still, hindi niyo pa rin ako pinapabayaan. You're still with me. Thank you so much po.

Oh yes, this post is about thank you's. Hahaha! Its the season to give thanks and to be happy. Merry Christmas and Happy Happy Birthday Jesus! :)

xx

Cady

Too tired of...

I have a lot of reasons why I am tired... but I don't want to elaborate it anymore. Pero lalo lang akong napapagod dahil sa mga nangyayari sa paligid ko. I don't know pero siguro may ugali rin ako na kagaya ng kay Frances sa nobela kong "Close To You". Wala akong pakialam. HAHAHA!!!

Dahil siguro sa dami ko ng problema, ayaw ko ng problemahin ang problema ng iba. Oh well, nakaka-stress kaya! Saka bakit ba yung ibang tao... napakahilig pansinin yung faults ng iba? Yung mistakes nila? They don't know what is happening to them. They don't know the real thing. They are not in their shoes. So why mind their business? Di ba? Nakakaasar lang.

I'm posting this because I really hate people who always look at the faults of other. Haller, tignan niyo muna yung faults niyo. Saka yung actions niyo bago kayo mamula sa iba. You don't know.. ginagawa niyo rin naman yun! I'm not saying this by experience.. well, its kinda pala. Basta. Nakakaasar lang.

xx

Cady

Waiting...

Naalala ko pinag-uusapan namin magkaklase kahapon ang tungkol sa nangyari noong 3rd year college kami. Medyo limot ko na yung eksenang iyon pero noong kinuwento nila, naalala ko rin naman.

The scenario was like this. Exam namin sa minor subject namin at `yung exam namin ay sobrang haba. Kulang ang one and a half hour na oras para sa exam. Eh essay ba naman kasi yung exam na may 100 items yata. Ugghhh lang talaga. We've been complaining and complaining the whole time when my professor said:

Miss: Patience is a virtue.

Classmate: But time is gold!

It was funny though, maybe for me, or us. But its true. When you are a writer, you should know and practice that line "patience is a virtue". But if you are in need of money, "time is gold" is so necessary.

At kailangan ko ng pera ngayon. Kaya sinusuka ko ang patience is a virtue na yan.... Huhuhu. Well, I'm so sorry pero nakakapagod rin mag-antay... Sana may feedback na at approved na ang MS ko...

Yun lang naman.

Hash tag: Rants.

xx

Cady

Always Tired.

Whenever I got home, I always feel tired. Yes, I know its because of my internship... but its more than 2 weeks but still... I feel like my body can't adjust.

I always want to sleep whenever I got home. Kanina nga sabi ko kay Mommy habang nakain ay antok na antok na ako. Yung feeling na 7 hours naman ang tulog ko pero...haay. Hindi rin naman nakakapagod ang trabaho ko. May mga idle time pa nga ako pero... ewan ko!

Siguro.. di pa talaga ako nakaka-adjust. Siguro sa opisina, okay na. Pero yung katawan ko, `di pa.

Yun lang naman. Wala kasi akong maipost at namimi-miss ko na ang blog ko. Ahahaha!

xx

Cady

The Playboy Millionaires Trilogy

Note: Ang trilogy na ito ay bunga ng pagpapahirap sa akin ng Accounting. Hahahaha!

The Playboy Millionaires Trilogy Book 1: In Love With Cash

By Cady Lorenzana

“You gave me a surprise feeling. And that is love.”

Kakikilala pa lang ni Charity kay Cash ay sinabi agad niya rito na pera ang problema niya. Tinulungan naman siya ni Cash. Ang kapalit niyon ay magpapakasal sila para makuha na ni Cash ang nais nito mula sa tiyahin nito. It was a marriage of convenience and she was okay with it because she had no plans of getting married in the future with the purpose of love. Isa pa, hindi naman sila nagsasama at malayo sila sa mga mata ng tiyahin nito kaya feeling dalaga at binata pa rin sila. Sa papel lang talaga sila kasal.

Hanggang sa dumating si Angelo sa buhay ni Charity. She fell in love with him and after months of being together, he finally asked her to marry him. Kinain niya ang lahat ng sinabi niya na hindi siya iibig at magpapakasal dahil sa pag-ibig.

Gustong-gusto ni Charity na umoo sa proposal ni Angelo pero kasal siya kay Cash. At dahil nagbago na ang ihip ng hangin sa buhay niya, nagdesisyon siyang makipaghiwalay sa asawa niya. Pero ayaw pumayag ni Cash unless magpapanggap uli siya na asawa nito sa harap ng ama ng babaeng nais pumikot dito. For the last time, pumayag siya para tuluyan nang makawala rito. What she didn’t know, it was the start of something more than their “business transaction” years ago.

The Playboy Millionaires Trilogy 2: Playing With Stock

By: Cady Lorenzana

“I know you’re not perfect. You’re not the best and you might not be better than anyone. But you’re special, because you’re the only one who can make this playboy’s heart beat a million wonderful times.”

Kilalang player si Karen at ang pastime niya ay ang magpaluha ng mga lalaki, lalo na iyong mga kasama sa mga tinaguriang “Playboy Millionaires.” May ulterior motive siya sa ginagawa niya. She wanted revenge.

Nang makilala niya si Stock nang minsang iligtas siya nito sa kapahamakan dahil sa kalokohan niya, naisip niya na ito ang pinakamagandang paglaruan dahil talagang ubod ng palikero ito. Kumakagat na ito sa kanya at nahuhumaling na sa charms niya. Sapat na iyon para saktan na niya ito. Pero nag-backfire ang lahat ng plano niya.

Paano ba niya paglalaruan ang isang tulad nito na walang ibang ginawa kundi alagaan at protektahan siya… at higit sa lahat, tanggapin at mahalin ang buong pagkatao niya?

The Playboy Millionaires Trilogy 3: Precious Moments With Price

By: Cady Lorenzana

“I may love someone before but the feeling that you gave me is more intense than that. Hindi mo siya pinalitan sa puso ko dahil mas malaki ang naging puwesto mo.”

Precious was a girl full of negative thoughts while Price was the total opposite. Dahil sa mga naranasan ni Precious sa pamilya niya pati na rin sa lalaking akala niya ay minahal siya, para sa kanya ay wala na siyang dahilan pa para mabuhay. Pero nang oras na iyon ay umeksena si Price. Binigyan siya nito nang pagkakataon para iayos niya ang lahat ng mali sa buhay niya. Hindi siya natuwa roon, bagkus ay inaway-away pa niya ito.

Pero sa kung anong kadahilanan ay tinulungan pa rin siya nang hudyo. He made her see why life is beautiful. He let her see that despite all her problems, there are still a lot of reasons why she should love her life.

Napaka-generous nito. Ito na yata ang pinakamabait na lalaking nakilala niya. Hindi lang kasi panibagong buhay ang ibinigay nito sa kanya. Ibinigay rin nito ang puso nito na hindi rin niya natanggihan dahil nahulog na rin siya rito.

Pero may limitasyon pala ang pantasya niya―dahil nang kinailangan si Price ng unang pag-ibig nito, hayun at mabilis pa sa alas-kuwatrong nawala ito sa kanya.

x Facts And Trivias Portion (over all)

x Cash, Stock, Price, Bill and Petty came from accounting or business terms (Di naman siguro halata, hehe!) Major ko kasi ang accounting kaya ayon.. yan kinalabasan. Dahil rin sa lintik na madugo kong exam sa Financial Accounting 2 (Semi finals, oo, tandang-tanda ko pa yun!) nag-day dream na lang ako. Ayon, 19/50 lang ako sa exams.

x "Bill" talaga dapat ang pangalan ni Price. Topic kasi namin yung mga T-Bills sa FA din noon. Eh sabi ko... parang ang pangit naman. (Napunta tuloy sa tatay! He-he!) Then ayon, habang nagdi-discuss yung professor ko sa Finance tungkol sa fieldtrip namin... nabanggit niya yung "Price". Iyon ang origin ng name niya.

x Puro extra sa nobelang ito mga name ng ex-boyfriend ko. Hahahaha! Kung sino sila? Hmmmmm... Secret. Ahaha!

x Yung epilogue sa kuwento ni Price na about sa Daddy niya... dapat hanging yun. Di ko talaga dapat sasabihin kung sino ang love of his life niya.

x Actually mayroon rin hidden meaning ang name ng mga heroine rito. Ay wala pala si Precious. Hahaha! Charity came from well, yung pinagdo-donate-an ng pera! (Kailangan talaga tungkol sa pera! Hahaha.) Saka yung Karen... kaya "Sy" ginamit ko na apelyido doon dahil... Karen Sy, katunog ng "currency". Okay, alam ko, corny! Bye! Ahahah!

x Ayan, to be continued na lang ito. XD

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be Demanding To HIM

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be Demanding To HIM

1. You are not his girlfriend.

2. Even though he was busy, still, he makes time for you. (Even if its just a few minutes of talk)

3. He always has a good reason when he cannot talk to you.

4. Sometimes he doesn't talk to you because he knew you are busy. He just left you for your own convenience. When you are busy, he won’t nag at you or demand to you like you always did to him. He wants you to do what you need to do.

5. On important occasions, he is always there for you. Every holiday, he will greet you. And do you remember every time your birthday comes? He will really try to catch you. On your first birthday with him, he have a city work and just to greet and talk to you, he left his work for a break and went to a computer shop to go online and talk to you even if it’s just a few minutes. Your last birthday, even if he is not sure that you will come online because you have class, he waited for you and even try to talk to you for a while.

6. He gave you a gift even if you don’t give him one in return.

7. He always tries to grant your request, even though he would spend a lot of money for it.

8. He always supports you on what you want and doesn’t even try to make you down like what most people always do to you. Remember when you failed on that exam and you are afraid of what he would say because the day before that exam, you were talking to him and telling him that you were lazy and do the things you weren’t supposed to do? You are afraid that he might get mad to you because of the result. Still, he doesn’t get mad at you. Instead, he said you can do better next time.

9. He doesn’t just care for you; he cares for your family, too. He asks how is your mom and your brother and even advices/give you treatment for them when they are sick.

10. When he was away, like when he is in Mumbai and doesn’t even have his PC and connection to mail you and have a whole week of work, he would come every rest day of him on a PC shop just to see and talk to you. And don’t forget the time that you were expecting him and he didn’t come at that time? He still went on the day on a computer shop and even if its already late, still, he told you his reasons and ask you to be with him the next day.

And return to reason number 1... 100 times until you get it.

xx

Cady

Once Upon A Time Madness

I always loved watching fairy tale movies. Ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit naging interisado ako panoorin itong TV series na kinaadikan ng ibang mga classmates ko. I don't watch english TV series, but because I am also kinda bored this sembreak, pinatulan ko na ito.

So far, so good naman ang feedback ko. May mga times na naasar at nabo-bored ako lalo na kapag scene na ni Prince Charming and Snow. Kahit sila yung pinaka-main characters sa series, I don't like them that much. Feeling ko kasi gurang na sila. Hahaha! I'm just disappointed with what they did to my Huntsman!!! Really, I felt like dying when he died, too. Charot. But I hope he'll be having exposures again (i read some news and they are planning to have him again on the show)

Anyway, I like the story of Ella and Thomas (Cinderella) but I surprisingly fell in love with the story of Grumpy and Nova. It is so heartbreaking because it is so forbidden. I just remember someone maybe thats why. Hahahaha. Oh well, I would just love to give my most favorite lines they have said in episode 14:

Nova: You are my happiness. I love you. Don't you love me?!

Dreamy: I am a dwarf. And I can't love.

And thats it... Another non-sense post from yours truly. :P

xx

Cady

7th book - Close To You

Medyo Late! He-he.

Close To You

By: Cady Lorenzana

For the first time in her life, she felt really loved. But God was really good all the time. He made her believe in happy endings because he gave her James.

Romance writer si Frances pero hindi siya naniniwala sa love. Ni wala nga siyang pakialam sa mga nagtatangkang manligaw sa kanya. Isa sa mga naging biktima ng “wala akong pakialam sa `yo” na ugali niya noong high school pa lamang si James Torre. Pero kung noon ay hindi niya pinapansin ang mga pagpapalipad-hangin nito, ngayon naman ay ni hindi niya maialis ang tingin sa makasalanang katawan nito nang muli silang magkita. 

Dahil sa kasalanang nagawa niya sa project ng kompanya ni James, kinailangan niyang maging maid sa bahay nito. Wala kasi siyang perang pambayad dito kaya naghain ito sa kanya ng ibang option. Sanay naman siya sa mga gawaing-bahay pero hindi niya alam kung makakaya ng puso niya na uminom ng sandamakmak na kape. Para kasing oras-oras siyang hinahainan ng almusal kapag nasa harap niya ito. Torture na maituturing ang mga “pandesal” nitong palaging nakabalandra sa mga mata niya sa loob ng bahay nito. 

Malaking problema iyon, lalo na at may babae nang nagmamay-ari sa puso nito. Sinubukan niyang lumayo rito. But she couldn’t deny the fact that she wanted to get close to him. Even if she knew it was wrong.

x Facts and Trivias Portion

x I made this book last February. Dapat talaga ay entry ko ito para sa Hot Encounter imprint ng PHR na ila-launch before GFD. Pero sa kung anong kadahilanan ay hindi siya nakasama. Hahaha! So you see, the ending of this story is about GFD. ^_^

x James "Torre" ang pinili kong maging name ni James kaysa sa real surname niyang "Torres" dahil baka malito ang mga readers kung Torres rin ang ilalagay ko since ginamit kong surname ng mga heroes ko sa trilogy ang Torres. (And yes, dahil po yun sa kaadikan ko pa rin kay James)

x This book is kinda a revise version of my so long ago returned manuscript, "A dwarf for a beast". Kung reader kayo ng internet serye, you would know that novel since I posted it there. :)

x Frances ang name ng bida rito because of me! Hahaha! Ewan ko kung may nakahalata. Dahil "princess" ang real name ko, naghanap ako ng malapit na name sa pangalan ko para kunwari kami talaga... LOL. May kaklase kasi akong Frances ang name noon at kapag tinatawag siya ng teacher ko, palagi akong napapalingon. Magka-rhyme kasi XD

x Natapos ko na ang nobela at lahat, wala pa rin title ang book na ito. Kaya naman naghanap na lang ako ng kanta para maging title nito. Since I love Carpenters music, I choose one of their song as the title of this. Favorite ko rin po ang kantang iyon. :D

x Major revision ang first feedback sa akin sa book na ito. As in, sa dami ng comments, kumuha ako ng yellow paper para pag-isipan kung paano ko siya ire-revise. Napuno nga yung yellow paper sa ginawa ko XD Pero hindi naman ako nahirapan siyang i-revise kahit maraming comments.

x Robbie --- ipinasok ko siya since habang sinusulat ko ito ay may nakita akong super cute na rabbit sa bahay kung saan kami nagbabayad ng tubig. Hahaha!

x Sa lahat ng nobela na sinulat ko ngayong taon, ito ang pinakamabilis kong natapos.

x At tinatamad na akong magsabi pa ng trivias... HAHAHA!!!

xx

Cady

PASSED!!!

Yes. Our group passed the defense! If you have read my last post, you would know how nervous I am.

We have revisions, but what is important is we passed. Yung grupo namin yung pinakamahabang oras nang pagde-defense at paghihintay ng deliberation. It was said to us that we are near to... re-defense. Even the chairperson told us that there are aspect that should be accounted to re defense. But they also put our effort in the grading.

Buti na lang talaga at si Sir Perez ang chairperson namin. Siya talaga `yung pinakakinakabahan ako. Pero yung dalawa pa palang panel yung gigisa sa amin. Grabe lang, never kong in-expect `yun since they have the reputation of... HAHAHAH!!! Oh well, just what I tweeted today, One thing I learned today is do not underestimate. I underestimate those two panels and they feel like the one who are asking a lot of questions! And our adviser, I really didn't expect that she would help us after what happened yesterday to the other group. Ah, naalala ko tuloy kanina noong nagsasalita si Sir Perez kanina sa amin kung bakit hindi niya kami nilaglag, sobrang na-overwhelm talaga ako. Kasi napaka-considerate niya. Kahit ilang beses na kaming umabsent sa kanya dahil nga sa paggawa ng FS na ito, inintindi niya kami. At hindi niya talaga kami pinabayaan. Tinatakot niya kami noong una pero nang ramdam niyang tameme na kami, tameme rin siya. What our problem is that na-block kami! Buti na lang talaga, na-gets noong professor namin yung gusto naming sabihin kasi hindi namin siya maipaliwanag. Ganoon-ganoon lang naman yung nangyari namin saka nagka-problem kami sa Market Study, about doon sa distribution process namin. Risky raw kasi.

But overall, the defense was okay. Nakakaba lang noong sobrang tagal nung pinag-antay namin sa deliberation pero nakahinga talaga ako nang maluwag nung ipapa-revise lang. Worth it ang pagbili ko ng bagong corpo! Charot. Hahahaha!

Thank you Sir Perez for being our "power ranger". Kahit in-underestimate rin kita noong una, still, you are very considerate! You know how to adjust. I never thought you would be this kind when I first saw you. Thank you Miss Leonor, for being our "taga-sambot" nang wala na kaming masabi. Hahaha! But most of all, thank you Lord God for granting our prayer :))) I love you Lord!!!

Next blog ko na lang yung about sa FS experience namin. HAHAHA!!!


xx

Cady

Guide Me

If there is a simple word that would best describe my last 2 weeks... Its a living hell. And unfortunately, its not yet the end.

Next week will be our FS defense days. Our group is scheduled to have it on Thursday. And I am freaking nervous! Even if we got the kindest (they say) set of panel, still, I can't help but to be pressured. Especially that days are coming and coming. I know I am not the only one in this. But still....

This FS defense feels like our ticket for graduation. Next sem would be our internship. And yes, I am already cleared my medical exam so I am sure that I will be going to have it in Toyota Sta. Rosa. Problem solved with that. Only this defense.

I try so hard to let this pressure out. Today, I totally have myself a day off. But this Sunday seems so boring... I am so lazy I am only in my room the whole day. I watch movies, sleep and read. But it still doesn't release the pressure away. And I feel like it just gets worse. The last movie I watch just intensified this pressure because of the "failure" that happened to the hero. Oh God, I really imagine myself being in his shoes that time. What if questions comes to my mind that I nearly shut off the laptop. Even if it has a good ending, it still affects me a lot.

I still have some doubts with our paper though. But we have something to defend on that if the panel asked about that kind of problem. Still, I am not satisfied. What if the panel didn't accept our answer to that? The head of our set of panels is intelligent. He had a lot of questions but he was kind. I know that since he was my professor in 4 subjects this sem. See? 4 SUBJECTS AND THAT'S ALL ACCOUNTING SUBJECT! He was also a CPA, MBA and do have a doctor degree! Even if we knew him and we have high hopes that he will never failed us since he knew the hardships we faced through this... STILL...

Uggghhh! Please God. Give me peace of mind. I can't sleep well,  I can't eat well. Most of the times I would just woke up and think of the FS. I even have nightmares! Help me God. Guide me.

xx

Cady

Big Month

Ilang araw na lang October na. And I am really nervous for this month. Ito `yung month na magkakaalamanan na kung ga-graduate ba ako o hindi. Its our defense day month! At sino ba ang hindi matatakot na mag-defense?

Our defense day should be on October 9. But due to the suspension of classes last August, our school days were extended. We are going to have the defense on October 16 and 17. Two freaking days! Our class were in panic. Alam namin na lahat kami ay nasa bingit since---ayaw ko ng i-explain kung bakit.

Pero hindi lang ito ang dahilan kung bakit kinakabahan ako. Most of my upcoming books is expected to be released this month---and that includes my trilogy. Ahhhh, it has been almost a year since I wrote the first book. I like that book since bet ko talaga gumawa ng ganoong klase ng story. Pero natatakot pa rin ako dahil alam kong hindi ko na-build up masyado yung iba kong characters sa book 1. Isa-isa pa naman ang release ngayon ng mga trilogy/series. Isama pang... kinakabahan talaga ako sa magiging reaction ng readers dito.

My heroes were not perfect, pati na rin ang kanilang mga heroine. My God, dito nga pala ako mas kinakabahan. Lalo na doon sa book 2 and 3. May something kasi sa mga characters nila na well, di masyadong maganda. Yay! But I hope, they would give a chance of buying it, or if any chance, liking or loving it! Ah, plus the cover---I made that myself. Kaya nakakaba lalo na at hindi naman ako magaling sa mga ganyan. Gusto ko lang talaga mapalagay ung name ko sa cover concept. Mehehe!

And oh, its also finals week this month. But I'm not bothered by that. Yung defense lang talaga saka ung pag-release ng books ko. Wew!

At isama na rin natin pala yung result ng pending manuscript ko. Mehehe!


xx

Cady

Happy 2 years :)

"I love you. I can’t see your smile or hold your hand; but I hear your voice. And every word you speak makes me fall in love with you all over again." 

(c) Tumblr

When I saw this quote.... I immediately thought of him. Ah, perks of having an *eherm* in another country.

Its already September and we've been together for 2 years. Together? Ah, together as good friends---as we call it. I am happy that I have found a guy like him, a guy whom I can share all my rants, my opinions, thoughts, and can even told my deepest secrets that I've never even told to my real close friends and best friends. He was a guy whom I can ask anything, share anything... its the first time I've been really close and attach to a guy and even know him that close for so long... I have failed relationships in the past, so I am really thankful for having him this long. Even if we're not that official and I can't say that he's mine, still, he was a guy I am looking for. A companion? Well, something like that. A guy who can handle my immaturity and can understand the "mean" me.

I just hope we'll last longer... Build more deeper relationship? LOL. I know for the coming next month, it would be harder. We are both having internships---he'll go to Mumbai again. Back to the "Sunday rendezvous" again, I think. This time, it would be longer...so it would be harder. I just hope that everything won't change that much.

xx

Cady

I don't want to be sick!

Yesterday I went to a diagnostic clinic for some laboratory test. Its a requirement to have those for my internship in Toyota next sem. I was kinda nervous since I am afraid that they might find out that I have some problems in my body. And well, the doctor find out some problems in my blood. She said that I have a high count of platelets. I felt so afraid that time since the HR in Toyota told us that most of the applicants problems are in the medical side. A lot of what if's come to my mind because of my mind.

My mind was set that I am going to have the internship in Toyota. And this problem came up. Really, I felt like crying in front of the doctor the time she told me I need to repeat my CBC. But she calmed me and told that it was not serious though. I should just rest and take plenty of water and I'll be back to normal again. She said that it was also because of my cold.

I keep thinking a lot about it. They told me that I should go back for the repeat test after 4 days. So that means I can't pass it on the deadline of passing---on Saturday. But the medtech told me I can passed the result. And if Toyota would ask me to take it again, then that is the time I should repeat. Its not only me that have that kind of problem. Most of us my co-interns/classmates have problems, too, in our health. So I should not think about it a lot. But I don't want to be sick! Never again. Especially that yesterday, I feel bad. I feel like having a fever. That worry me the most.

I don't like having fever. Who do like? And I posted about this damn sickness in my facebook account and someone told me I should take care since dengue is common nowadays. I already have experience with the kind of disease. I've been hospitalized for almost a week. Aside from that, nagdeliryo ako ng time na `yun. My mom said that I feel like I lose my sanity in the emergency room. I don't know what I am doing and they are very afraid that time since I'm not in my self. I am doing a lot of crazy things because of high fever they thought they will lose me. They said I am fighting w/ the other patient, do "Darna" in the bed, and talk a lot about Enchanted Kingdom. I don't know what is happening to me that time. Then I've been confined that i want to go home so bad but my fever is still high. I missed a lot about school and my classmates have been texting me to get well soon since its intramurals time and I am the player of our class in scrabble. I am their bet since I've been the champion in our batch for 3 consecutive years. And our class lost it because I am not there.

I don't want to be sick. I want to rest but I have a lot of duties at home. Mom can't do a lot of things `cause she was paralyzed. I am always the one who do things. Especially now that water in our village is a main problem. Uggghhh!!! I should not be stress but I can't help it. I have a lot of duties not just in school but in our home. ><

xx

Cady

Credit Cash.

Hash tag, Rants.

`Cause I earn some money in writing, people around me thought I am rich. Well, not really rich but I have money. Ang akala ng mga kaklase ko, porque nagkakaroon ako ng pera sa pagsusulat, akin na yun. But no! I am saving the money for the future... but the future already happened dahil wala na akong pera. Huhu.

For the last few months, nagastos ko na lahat nang naipon ko sa pagsusulat. Last year, I paid almost half of my grandfather's expense in the hospital. I bought a new cellphone this April and even paid my tuition fee in my summer classes (na kapresyo rin ng cellphone ko ang halaga). I also paid for my tuition fee this sem. And it costs more than 40,000 pesos! Ugggh... I feel so broke pero ayaw ko namang umasa na sa Mommy ko. I am happy that hindi na siya ganoon gumagastos para sa akin at sa Kuya ko. Na nakakabili na siya ng mga bagay na matagal na niyang gustong bilhin---like a new TV and aircon. We also have installed able in our house. Masaya ako na hindi na kami pumupunta ng Afsplai every year to withdraw money for my tuition fee. Pero `yung bulsa ko, umiiyak na talaga. Huhuhuhu.

Last month, I got an approved manuscript. And after the day I got the approval mail, na-tempt akong bumili ng bagong bedsheet with comforter. Oh well, that is one of my dream and I am so grateful that I already fulfill that. Pinatos ko na kasi sale na rin naman and reward ko na rin sa sarili ko. Sabi ko noon, malaki-laki pa rin naman ang matitira sa pera ko dahil magkakaroon nga ako ng bagong approve. Pero wala, naabo rin. Bakit? Dahil I also pay for my grandfather's hospitalization/death expense. And today...the heartbreaking price of our prototype in feasibility study! Huhuhu talaga. At marami pang babayaran dahil sa grammarian, adviser and panel expense! Isama pa ang laboratory fees na babayaran ko na requirements para sa internship company ko. (I'm just glad na nakapasa ako sa Toyota! Sobrang kaba ko talaga rito dahil ang bilis ng time limit ng exam, akala ko bagsak na ako. Isama pa na feeling ko sablay `yung interview sa akin. Nakaka-trauma `yung nangyari that day sabi ko, `di na ako uulit. Chos!) Tapos gusto ko rin pumunta sa MIBF.... pero wala na talaga akong pera panggastos!!! ><

Kailan kaya ako makaka-debit Cash? Wala pa naman ako pending manuscript. Wala rin ako drive na magsulat. Tinatamad nga akong ituloy itong sinusulat ko to think na 2 chapters na lang yata at tapos na ito. Ugggh, Kaasar talaga. Feeling ko kasi, `di kami destined ni Riyan... at ng best friend turn to lovers story.... ><

Haay... Lord. Please help me.


xx

Cady

I will miss you, Tatay...

Ayaw kong mag-blog nang mahaba dahil feeling ko, iiyak ako. Hindi man kami close ng Lolo ko... I know I would missed him. Heck, kapag naghuhugas ako ng plato, siya lagi ang naalala ko. Bakit? Siya lang naman kasi ang taong nagturo sa akin kung paano magtipid ng tubig.

Naalala ko yung mga araw kung kailan kailangan ko pang lumingon sa paligid habang naghuhugas ng plato. Kasi minsan, tinatamad akong gumamit ng batsa para maghugas nang madami. So I just use the faucet. Eh alam ko, patakaran mo na `wag ganoon. Natatakot ako na baka magalit ka kapag ginawa ko yun kaya kailangan ko pang i-secure kung nandoon ka ba sa paligid...

Ngayon, wala ng mangangaral sa akin sa tamang paggamit ng tubig kasi wala ka na. Hindi na ako matatakot pero siyempre, mami-miss kita. Feeling ko, kalakip na ng buhay ko yung pangangaral mo. Hehe. I know wala akong masyadong naggawa sa inyo, pero kayo marami. Kung `di dahil sa inyo, wala akong Mommy. At kung hindi niyo siya pinalaki ng mabuti, malamang ay baka kami ay napariwa rin... Kaya thank you po talaga. I'm so sorry rin kasi `di ko na naggawa yung promise ko sa inyo ng Inay na kapag nag-50th anniversary kayo, ako ang gagastos para sa lahat ng `yun... :(((

Wala man tayong gaanong moments, Tatay, pero deep inside my heart, I care for you.
Mami-miss po kita, Tatay... Mami-miss ko yung mga moments na ikaw ung kaagaw ko sa videoke. Na paulit-ulit mong kinakanta `yung El Mundo para sa pamilya natin... Yung paint my love...

Sana po ay maging masaya kayo diyan kasama nina Daddy at Tita Emily... Webcam kayo, ha? May facebook naman kayo at natuto pang maglaro ng tablet... Hehehe! I love you, Tatay. I will miss you.

xx

Cady

The Voice

The Voice PH is my favorite show... as of now. Ito `yung show na dapat hindi ko mamiss dahil fan talaga ako ng mga singing contest. But this...post is not about the show! Hahaha! Its about my voice.

Noong bata pa ako, naniniwala ako na maganda ang boses ko. Oo, mayabang na kung mayabang pero feeling ko talaga! Hahaha! Ang lakas pa nga ng loob ko noon na sabihin sa Mommy ko na gusto kong sumali sa isang singing contest sa baranggay namin. Pero natawa lang siya sa akin. Seryoso naman ako noon at dahil malaki nga ang confidence ko na maganda ang boses ko...(noon), napakunot ang noo ko sa kanya.

But now... I understand her.

I am fund of singing. Kapag may mga videoke sa pupuntahan ko, `di ko papalampasin. Never akong nahiya... well, ngayon lang college ako. Napagtanto ko na mayabang talaga ako noong bata ako kasi ang lakas ng bilib ko sa sarili ko. Hahahaha!

Napagtanto kong pangit talaga ang boses ko dahil sa lintik na StarMaker yan. StarMaker is an app in Ipad. Pina-DL ko pa talaga `yun kay Kuya dahil nga mahilig akong kumanta... And because of that, I realized my weakness. Kapag kasi pine-play ko yung recorded voice ko... ang pangit! Hahaha!

Oh well, bakit ko ba pino-post ito? Natatawa ako. Tama na nga. Pero teka, gusto niyo bang marinig ang boses ko? Wag na. Baka bumalik si Maring. HAHAHA!

xx
Cady

Writing and giving signs...

Naalala ko noong first year college ako, kapag kakain kami ng friend ko, minsan ay nagto-toss coin kami kung saan kami puwedeng kumain. One example of making decisions na sumusunod sa signs. Pero madalas, `di naman namin sinusunod! Hahahaha... But well, I am trying it in writing...Hindi nga lang sa pamamagitan ng toss coin.

My first installment for my trilogy was the first book I write na humingi ako nang sign. Paano ba ako humingi? Well, sabi ko lang naman ay...kapag natapos ko ang librong ito...ibig sabihin, naka-move on na ako sa ex ko. Ang ginawa ko kasi roon ay ginawa kong kontrabida ang ex ko... which is hindi talaga nangyari! Gusto ko talagang maging bad villain siya. But it turned out na bumait siya. `Yun yung ayaw ko kapag nagpaplano, eh. `Di ko rin nasusunod. `Di ko naman ginawang lovable siya basta `di lang siya naging ganoon kasama kagaya ng una kong plinano. Pero tinatanong siya sa akin ng editor ko kung gagawan ko raw siya ng kuwento dahil nang in-edit daw niya, na-feel daw niya na lovable ang guy na `yun... Naloka talaga ako nang sabihin niya yun! Hahahaha.

Anyway, may ginagawa akong bagong manuscript ngayon. And this book, hihingi pa rin ako ng sign. The sign is, if na-approve, it means malaki ang pag-asa na puwedeng maging kami. Kapag na-revise at `di sinabi ang tungkol sa conflict na `yun, meron din. Kapag pina-revise at yun ang comment ay about sa conflict or na-returned `yun, wala talaga kaming pag-asa ni eherm... Hahahaha. He's really my inspiration to this book... lahat ng nararamdaman ko tungkol sa kanya at ang conflict ng relationSHIT namin. Ahahaha!

Napaka-walang kuwenta ng post na ito. May mai-post lang. Hahahaha!

Emotions.

And yeah, I am trying to write a manuscript now. Ito `yung manuscript na matagal ko nang gustong isulat simula nang dumating ako sa point na `yun.

Bihira kong sabihin kapag may personal akong problema. I mean, the more drama side problem. `Yung nakakaawa `yung magiging turing sa akin ng tao pagkatapos. I don't like pity from others. I don't like self-pitying, too. Siguro ay minsan ganoon ako... pero `yung mga nakikita niyong `yun, wala pa `yun sa nangyayari sa akin sa loob ng kwarto. Kapag mag-isa ako.

I have a lot of posts here na hindi ko pina-publish. And most of them are the posts that contains the drama side of me. Gustong-gusto kong ilabas pero ayaw ko ng negative vibes. Ayaw ko rin na oras na malaman `yun nang tao, maawa sila sa akin.

There was this week na sobrang emotional ko. `Yun `yung week na nabuo ko ang plot ng manuscript na ito. Matagal na `yun, actually. Wala na rin ako sa stage na `yun. Siguro naka-moved on na ako. And things are getting better now kaya hindi ko siguro ganoon maramdaman. But still, I want to write a novel out of those feelings. Out of those experience.

`Yung iba, feeling ko normal naman. Nasabi ko na actually kay Riyan itong bagay na ito and feeling ko, iba `yung verdict niya sa nararamdaman ko. Feeling ko, hindi niya ako naiintindihan. Feeling ko rin kasi, abnormal `yung nararamdaman ko na `yun. Kahit `yung Mommy ko, noong time na sinabi ko `yun sa kanya... sinabihan niya ako nang "para kang tanga,". But I can't help it... I don't want to be at that point in time na...

Hindi ko sasabihin kung ano talaga `yung nangyari. Pero clue: Ayaw kong mangyari ang lahat ng ito dahil wala pa akong boyfriend. Wala pa akong someone to hold on to.

Ayan!!! Mukha ba akong desperada? But really, ito `yung nararamdaman ko on that time. Marami akong friends but still, its not enough. I can't demand with my friends... because I am only their friend. Haay! Mahirap i-explain. Pero over all, if ever man na matapos at maipasa ko ang manuscript na ito.... Ito ang pagbabatayan ko kung normal ba itong nararamdaman ko. Kapag returned, hindi. Kapag revision at ang problem na `yun ang pin-point, hindi rin. Kapag approved agad, edi normal talaga! Hahaha!

Medyo nabo-bore nga lang ako sa takbo ng story. Oh well, di kasi ako sanay sa ganitong klaseng nobela. Hindi kasi sila nag-aaway! XD


xx

Cady

Gulong ng Palad

Sometimes you'll be on top... Sometimes you'll be on bottom.

Maybe it was not just my lucky day then. Maybe its my bad week last week since I've have mistakes and failures...

Stupidity in driving
Stupidity in stepping in a broken glass and have a wounded feet. (I can't walk properly for a few days)
And I failed on my law exam...

The last one was the one I am bothered about. I am not sure if I am the only one who fail but it does have a bad effect on me... Simula nang mangyari `yun, palagi na lang ako nagigising ng madaling araw at naiisip iyon. Meron pang time na kino-compute ko pa talaga ang mga possible grades na puwede kong makuha dahil sa bagsak ako... It was so painful for me since I excel in Law (that's what I think) last sem... But now.... I don't know what really happened to me. Am I that so sleepy that time? Hindi ba ako nag-aral nang mabuti? Dahil ba sa hindi ako nakakopya at hindi ako nagtangka man lang? Oh well.... I just wish, on midterms, mataas ang grade ko. I will make sure of it. Okay naman po ang class performance ko... `Yung prelims lang talaga. Pero kailangan talaga makabawi ako sa midterms. Kahit 85 lang... Okay na. Hindi ako puwedeng magkasingko. Hindi ako puwedeng bumagsak. Kahit elective lang `yun at puwede pa ako maka-graduate on time if ever man, no... Hindi puwede. I don't want bad records.

Sabi na nga ba. `Di talaga ako puwede mag-work sa bangko. I suck in Finance. I suck in Negotiable Instruments... Errrr...


Lord, please give me peace of mind. And guide me for midterm exams.


xx


Cady

`Cause I'm tired to death....

The title of the blog post came from the song of KZ, Scared to Death. Palagi ko kasing naririnig kapag pinapalabas `yung trailer ng Tuhog. He-he.

These days, palagi na lang akong stress. `Yung tipong maaga na nga `yung pasok mo tapos maghapon pa. Hindi naman full load `yung araw... Pero grabe lang sa vacant. May dalawang araw kami sa isang linggo na four and a half hours ang vacant. And may isa na 3 hours. Nakakaimbyerna lang at napakagastos. Pero okay na rin, dahil sa feasibility study na `yan.

Feasibility study... Haay, puwede bang matapos ka na? Puwede bang mawala ka na? Kasi.... ikaw ang nagwawala ng social life ko. Ahahaha! Well, not at all. I can still manage to visit my social networking accounts. But these are because palagi kaming magkakausap ng mga groupmates ko sa Facebook. Naisisingit ko pa rin naman ang pag-chat kay "HIM" since I'm working on computer naman. Pero alam mo `yung feeling na gusto mo na siyang iwanan kahit gustong-gusto mo rin siyang ka-chat? Ang gulo ko `no. He was here everyday. We chat everyday. Kung siguro bakasyon ko, sobrang saya ko siguro. Eh ngayon, sa dami kong ginagawa, parang wala na akong time isipin siya.

Food. Madalas na akong nagugutom ngayon. Siguro ay dahil sa pagod. Madalas ay wala pang isang oras, gutom na agad. Pero ang masama, hindi ako nakakain ng tama. Its because of the schedule at dahil na rin sa dami ng ginagawa. Minsan nakakalimutan na or talagang `yung schedule sa school ay hindi tama para sa pagkain. Haay, kaya tuwing dinner ako bumabawi. I usually don't take vitamins but these days, I make sure I take everyday. Natatakot ako magkasakit!

Tulog. Haay, isa pa itong nami-miss ko. May mga araw naman na 8 hours ang tulog ko, but damn, minsan masuwerte na ang 5 hours. At simula pa lang yan ng FS, ha? Prelims pa lang. Paano pa sa susunod? And my afternoon nap, I missed you sooooooooooooooo much. As in that much. I always want to sleep on afternoon. That was my favorite past time---sleeping. Mas gusto ko pa matulog ng umaga kaysa gabi. Pero ni hindi ko na maalala kung kailan ako natulog ulit ng ganoon. And that is because of my fucking schedule!!!

My friends. I missed my writer friends so much. Well, I always missed them. Next week magkikita-kita sila at paano ako? Di na naman ako makakasama. Dahil sa schedule, dahil sa feasibility, dahil sa klase, dahil sa dami ng ginagawa, dahil sa malayo ang place ko sa kanila. I always feel like I am left....I feel bad with that pero may magagawa ba ako? Nandito na ito. Kailangan kong unahin `yung pag-aaral ko. Isang sem na lang ito at next sem, malaki ang chance na hindi na ako maiiwan. Its because I am planning to have my internship in Manila. Not final but I am looking forward, too. I want to live even in a sem away from our house, away from my mom. I want to be independent. I want to find myself. More explanations? Uh, basahin niyo na lang `yung assignment na sinend ko sa prof ko. That includes all the things I am planning to do in the future. (Wel,, `yun ay kung mababasa niyo! Ahahah!) There is a big chance since I wrote in my app form 3 companies located in Manila. But enough of that. I still need to tackle friends again. This day, napasabi lang naman ako sa Mommy ko ng... "Nami-miss ko na sina Melanie," tapos bigla akong napaisip, araw-araw naman kaming nagkikita pero bakit ko sila nami-miss? At napagtanto ko na dahil kahit araw-araw ay hindi rin kami nagkakasama at nagkakuwentuhan nang matagal dahil sa FS. Hindi kasi kami magkaka-group. Nami-miss ko na silang maka-chikahan nang matagal. Ahaaaaay.

Kung meron man ako naging magandang karanasan sa nakaraang araw, iyon na siguro ay dahil nakasakay na ako, (Sa wakas) sa sports car ng classmate ko. Kagroup ko kasi siya sa FS. Akala ko luxury car `yun, sports car pala. Well, mahal din naman `yun kaya puwede na rin i-consider?

At nagtataka ba kayo kung bakit pa ako nakapag-blogpost sa kabila ng ka-busy-han ko? Dahil noong isang araw ko pa ito sinusulat. Ngayon ko lang natapos. At natapos ko pa dahil maaga kong natapos ang case analysis and exam ko sa Business policy and ethics. Ahahaha! Next is... Aral naman sa Auditing Problems. :3


xx

Cady

Believing...

I hate arguing about religion. I'm a Catholic and I also went to a Catholic school when I was in elementary and highschool. But I am not that religious person. I am not always present in church and I don't pray the rosary that much. I prayed everyday---before I sleep and every morning after I woke up, but still, I can't categorize myself as a religious person. But I believe in God. Everytime I hear mass, I will make sure I will hear and understand the homily---especially when the priest is so good and I know I will gain knowledge with what he was saying.

Today, we both talked about religion. HIM is an Atheist---he doesnt believe in God. He has no God. I remember one time then he was asking me to explain my side about religion. I feel like I am defenseless because he had said things that kinda confused my mind. Hahaha! But still, I believe. And today, I was kinda encouraging him to believe in God.... I want him to. I even told him that when the time comes that he will believe, even Hindu God's...that would be my happiest day.

But he just said... "May your belief save you,"

I was kinda disappointed. I know it would take time but I am not losing hope. Maybe not now... but in the future... I hope someday he will realize.

And why am I telling these things? Why I want him to believe in God, too?

Because I want to be Shamcey Supsup. "And if that person truly loves me, [he] should love my God too."

Charot! Akala mo naman boyfriend ko. HAHAHA!

xx

Cady

I am so disappointed...

I used to admire you then.. but now, the fangs are out. I didn't thought you can do all that...That you are like that.

My friend is really right when she said that the saying "first impressions last" is not true.

And on the other hand, they need analysis...People needs analysis.

I am tired of all of this. Mind your own business, people.

xx

Cady

Revising...

I have a for revision manuscript for weeks now...but I am not working on it. I don't know if I'm just busy or I really don't have the heart to revise it.

I don't feel bad about the comments but its just...I don't know how will I do it. Everytime I will get back with the comments, I feel so lazy to do it... Its more on the establish part but yet.... uggghhh!! Or maybe, I forget what I have to do. I know, I have something in my mind then. But I forgot it. That frustrates me and ruins my mood to revise... I want to do it yet, there's some force that tell me I don't want...

I hope that idea in my mind then will be back. Errrrrrr.... This is the problem when you didn't put writing first. When you didn't put the idea you have... You forgot all of it. And in the end, gets frustrated.

I feel so old....

xx

Cady

I want to write.

I want to write...but there is so many hindrances by now... Studying feels like a very big responsibility right now... I want to graduate on time....but I also want to do this. But I know, with this little time and this pressure rising up, I can't.

The hobby can wait. But this sem can't. The hope of people around me, (most especially for my family) can't wait. I need to be better... I need to put first what is really important for a student like me... I need to graduate... I need to face my responsibility as a teenager and as a child.

I just hope we'll have a better schedule so I can have time. And I won't be bother that much.

Please Lord. Just my revision and this manuscript I am really itching to write since last week....

Time. Knowledge. Strength. I need you.

xx

Cady

Just as I thought.

How much is the chance that two different person would be together? Like living in a world with a "happy ever after?"

I thought because I've become a writer, I adopt those some common personality of them to be cynical in love. I thought that being in love is just for fools and so on... I thought I lost it all after all those heartbreaks I have in the past... But no... I still believe in love.

How many times did I put those words in my novels about fairy tales doesn't exist in the real world? I thought I am mature enough to stop believing in those freaking stories. But heck, I still believe in it. I still believe in an unrealistic story... Because I am a fool to believe that there can be a chance on us... Even if we live in different worlds, I am a fool of believing that we could end up being together. I even imagine how it would be like.... How would a future be with you even if I am feeling how complicated it would be. On what hardships can we experience just to fight for all of it. Just like your parents did?

But no... Maybe there is really a fairy tale that comes with a happy never after ending. Or maybe because this is really not a fairy tale. My name is a princess but my personality is far away from that. And you're a frog...not the guy in a knight in shining armor...

I should stop thinking of you. I should stop thinking of that future. Because it would be just a world full of complications... I should stop telling all of this.

I should stop being with you...I should stop loving you.

If its just too easy to be done.

xx

Cady saying thank you for her bestfriend, for waking her up....

Somebody That I Used To Know

Do I have the right to tell you to choose us? That is your happiness. They are your happiness. I can't just deprived you of all those things.

I can't bring the past so maybe, I'll just write it all here...

We Miss you.

I miss you. So much. But I know... I can't turn back time. I can't turn back all the things it was used to be...


With Love,

Buding

Madaling sabihin. Mahirap gawin.

For two weeks, I'm actually having a problem. Dapat matagal ko na itong iba-blogpost dahil ang tagal na rin nito sa dibdib ko. But I want to avoid putting my negative feelings in my blog. Lalo na `yung naisip ko last time na iba-blog post ko. If I did that, kung may makakabasa man, alam kong maawa sila sa lagay ko. I don't want that to happen. I don't want pity on others. Pero dahil medyo um-okay ang mga sitwasyon, `di na kasama dito ang isa pang nararamdaman ko. All about this blogpost would be just for...HIM.

May mga na-blogpost na ako about kay HIM. Marami-rami na rin. He was someone special. Siya `yung feeling lovelife ko. Charot! Seriously, siya ang tinuturing ko na tunay na lovelife. Marami kasi talaga akong imaginary lovelife. Si HIM... Seryoso siya. Hindi ko masasabing boyfriend ko siya pero he was someone special. I knew he feels the same way, too, for me. I feel. Kaya lang...komplikado ang mga bagay para sa amin.

He had been with me for almost 2 years. We never met personally but still, he had this special place in my heart. Nakakatawa `no? But he was always there for me... THEN. Kaya siguro nahulog ang loob ko sa kanya. The way he treats me, I really feel so special. Pero dati `yun. Hindi ko ma-explain na ngayon.

There's a lot of problems between us this days. Or should I say on his part. I am always free. I always give time with him. Iyon ay dahil nga sa nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Pero palagi na lang akong naghihintay. Palagi na lang ako ang kailangang umawa. Palaging ako na lang ang maging pasenyosa.

Nakakapagod rin. Nakakasakit rin.

May mga taong nagsasabi sa akin na i-let go ko na daw ang lahat. Nasasaktan na daw kasi ako, eh.

Madaling sabihin. Mahirap gawin.

I have this classmate na palagi kong sinasabihan na... "ang tanga-tanga mo!" as in... malapit ko nang sabihin `yun sa kanya nang harapan. Kasi naman... She had been in a relationship with a guy for 3 years. Nagli-live-in na nga sila noong guy. Pero sabi nila, niloloko daw ni guy si girl. Si girl naman, ilang beses nang nakipag-break sa kanya si guy, ayon at binabalikan pa rin. Niloloko na nga siya, patuloy pa rin si girl. Ayaw niyang i-let go si guy. Inis na inis na ako sa kanya talaga. Lahat kaming magkaklase naiinis na sa relasyon nila ni guy. Nakita ko na si guy personally dahil isinama siya ni girl sa dinner sa school last december. Okay lang naman itsura ni guy. Medyo jeje type nga lang. Hindi ko matanggap na hindi niya kayang i-let go si guy. I think she deserves someone else. `Yung hindi siya sasaktan. Marami pang lalaki diyan.

Pero ganyan naman tayo palagi.

Na-realize ko na mali pala ang ginagawa ko. Na sana inintindi ko `yung classmate ko. Na-realize ko dahil sa experience na ito na kapag nagmahal ka, kahit niloloko slash sinasaktan ka na nang mahal mo, kapag minahal mo talaga, mahirap mag-let go. I'm not saying na niloloko ako ni HIM. Pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon...nasasaktan na ako. Nasasaktan ako na wala siya sa mga times na kailangan ko siya. Nasasaktan ako dahil wala siyang time sa akin. Masakit para sa akin na sinabihan niya ako na hindi ako ang priority niya. Pinilit kong intindihin iyon dahil nandiyan pa rin naman siya palagi sa tabi ko...NOON. Kahit may studies siya, nagbibigay siya ng time sa akin. Pero ngayon, feeling ko...wala na. Palagi niyang sasabihin, see you later. Pero hindi siya darating. At ako? Naghihintay ako. Kahit alam kong kailangan kong gumising nang maaga bukas, nagpupuyat ako para hintayin siya. Pero siya? Pakiramdam ko, hindi niya ako sinisingit man lang. Ah, there were times he did. Pero hindi napapantayan ang effort na ginagawa ko.

Ilang beses na akong umiyak nang dahil sa kanya. Kahit sa mga naging boyfriend ko noon, hindi ako umiyak nang ganito. Parang kaunti nga lang ang iniluha ko sa kanila.  But with HIM...kailangan ko pa talaga ng tissue para pahirin ang luha ko. Ilang beses na akong naghihintay. Para lang akong timang na nakatingin sa button na iyon kung kailan siya iilaw ng kulay green. Palagi na lamang siyang wala. Palaging ako na lang dapat ang umunawa.

Para sa future niyo `yun, natatawa ako kapag binubulungan ako ng inner self ko about that. Wow, ang lakas ng imagination ko! Hahaha! I know how important his studies to him. Pero paano naman ako? Napapagod rin ako. Tao ako. At may nararamdaman ako kaysa sa mga studies na `yan. Sana naman unahin mo rin ako kahit minsan... Sana...

Dahil hindi kita kayang i-let go. Masyado kitang mahal para gawin `yun...


xx

Cady

6th book - Can't Help Falling In Love

One year na simula nang isulat ko ang novel na ito. Pero dahil two times na pina-revise sa akin ito, 10 months pa lang naman siya sa "to be release" ko. Hehe! CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE is a sequel of my 3rd book---I'LL STAY IN LOVE WITH YOU. Kung natatandaan niyo pa po, si Athena ay si "Tita Ganda" ni Artemis. Kapatid siya ni Venus. ^_^

Can’t Help Falling In Love

By Cady Lorenzana

“Iyong mga imperfection mo ang minahal ko dahil hindi mo tinangkang itago sa akin kung ano ka. With you, I can’t help falling.”

Matagal nang pangarap ng romance writer na si Athena ang makapagbakasyon sa Amanpulo. Kaya nang magkaroon siya ng pagkakataon na makapunta roon nang wala ni singkong gagastusin, complete with accommodation, sinamantala niya iyon. Everything was perfect except for one thing: may makakasama siyang hindi lang antipatiko, mukha pang galit sa mundo—si Carlo. 

Okay na sana dahil guwapo ito, pero unang engkuwentro pa lang nila, kinunsumi na siya nito nang bonggang-bongga. And to make matters worse, ka-share pa niya ito sa villa na tutuluyan niya. 

Isang araw ay kinailangan niya ang tulong nito at hindi naman siya tinanggihan nito. At nang magkasakit siya, inalagaan at binantayan siya nito. Dahil doon, unti-unting lumambot ang puso niya rito. She started seeing him in a different light. Kaya mula sa pagiging nuisance, naging hero material ito sa nobelang isinusulat niya. Dumating pa nga sa puntong lihim na niyang hinihiling na ito na ang hinihintay niyang “the one.” Pero suntok sa buwan yata ang hiling niya dahil nalaman niya na hindi pa rin ito nakaka-get over sa alaala ng namayapang kasintahan nito…

XX FACTS AND TRIVIA'S PORTION:

x The novel is the result of my addiction to Jessica Hart. I really love her "The Princess Swap Series" to the point na nag-bestfriend swap naman ako sa novel na ito. :P

x Nabanggit sa akin ni Kathy `yung about sa resort na Amanpulo. Marami raw na dumadayo na artista roon---hollywood actors/actress. So i was intrigued and view the website. Nang makita ko, gusto ko na rin maging artista! Hehe! Its so breathtaking kaya `yan..kahit sa nobela dinala ko ang sarili ko. :P

x Hindi ito ang pinakauna kong plot kay Athena. The first one has an option to revise feedback. Ni-revise ko naman pero dahil ganoon pa rin `yung feedback---okay, I quit! Hahaha! This one, naka-2 revisions naman! Whew! Mahirap pero motto ko nga ang try and try until you die and when you die at least you try.

x The hero's name shouldn't be Carlo. Nakalimutan ko na `yung original name nung una niyang ka-partner sa sobrang tagal ko nang nagawa ang librong ito. Pero binago ko dahil sa kilig ko lang naman kay Carlo Romero! Hehehe!

x Most side characters here, kinuha ko ang names sa Princess And I na teleserye. Mikaela, Bianca and Kalel---(from Khalil) Nanonood kasi ako ng Princess and I habang nag-iisip ako ng pangalan. HAHAHAHA!

xx

Cady

5th book - Camp Speed 4: Fall Into Me

Last Saturday, the first five books of our collaboration series with my writer friends was released. I wrote the 4th book---Keith McGraw's story. So happy that it was really James Torres in the cover. Ahh,, he was my inspiration in this book...Kinda... Ang guwapo niya kasi! He-he!

CAMP SPEED 4: FALL INTO ME

By: Cady Lorenzana

Ang sabi nga nila, blessing comes to those who wait. Nahintay siya nito at natuwa siyang pareho silang nabasbasan ng blessing ng pag-ibig. She was happy he waited for her and she fell for him after that long wait.

Bata pa lang si Zia ay inis na inis na siya sa kinakapatid niyang si Keith. Kung umasta kasi ito ay para itong big brother niya at siya ang little sister nito. Daig pa nito ang magulang niya kung magbantay at magsermon sa kanya samantalang hindi naman niya hiniling dito ang mga bagay na iyon.

Ngunit lalong nadagdagan ang inis niya rito nang pagbawalan siya nitong pumunta sa Camp Speed kung saan member ito. Kulang na lang ay ipa-ban siya nito roon para hindi niya masilip ang crush niyang si Zeb Figuerroa. Iyon pa naman ang main purpose niya sa pagpunta sa Camp Speed pero sinabotahe rin siya ni Keith dahil isinumbong nito sa mommy niya ang kanyang plano.

“Ano ba’ng gusto mong gawin ko para tigilan mo na ang pang-iinis mo sa akin, Keith?”

“Gusto mo talagang malaman?” seryosong tanong nito. “Pumayag kang magpaligaw sa akin.”

Nagulat man siya sa seryosong mukha at sa sinabi nito ay hindi niya iyon ipinahalata rito, sa halip ay pinagana niya agad ang kanyang isip. Bigla siyang napangisi nang may maisip siyang kalokohan. Humalukipkip siya. “Game.”

Ngunit mukhang nagkamali siya ng desisyon dahil sa halip na ito ang maapektuhan ay nag-backfire sa kanya ang damdaming hindi niya inakalang mararamdaman niya. Hindi pa pala siya immune sa charm nito dahil nahulog na nang tuluyan ang loob niya rito.

x FACTS AND TRIVIAS PORTION

Characters:

KEITH MCGRAW

x I love “torpe” guys. Madalas ay natotorpe ang mga heroes na ginagawa ko. Pero sa lahat, si Keith ang pinakamatindi. Hi-hi.

x Dapat ay playboy dito si Keith dahil mahilig rin ako sa playboy. Pero as the story goes on, binago ko siya. Hindi siya playboy. Sakto lang.

x He was afraid of rejections.

x Bukod sa Formula One Race Car driver siya, may hidden talent rin siya. Ano `yun? Basahin niyo na lang `yung book. He-he.

x Protective si Keith. At nangyari `yun dahil kay Christian Grey! Ha-ha! Kakatapos ko lang kasing basahin `yung 50 shades habang sinusulat ko ito. Na-inspired ako roon nang slight. Char!


PATRIZIA/ZIA CIPRIANO

x I took the name from a reader/friend Patrizia Ann Gutierrez since nag-request siya sa akin a long long time ago na sana daw ay magamit `yung name niya as heroine sa pocketbook. Ginawa ko lang Zia `yung nickname niya.

x `Yung qualities ni Zia, madalas galing sa akin lahat. Well, most of the times, I always put myself in my heroine’s shoes.

x Maarte si Zia. Kagaya ko. He-he.

x She’s a model.

x Lagi siyang nai-i-inlove pero nasasaktan rin sa huli. May gusto siya sa isa sa mga triplets. :P


THE STORY

x Dapat ay ako ang pang-five sa magsusulat sa first batch. Pero dahil lumuwag naman ang schedule ko, nag-give way ako. He-he.

x I love Cats and Dogs stories. Ganoon ang theme ng kuwento nina Keith at Zia. Mahilig kasi ako doon sa mga scenes na palaging nag-aaway.

x Naka-ilang ulit rin ako nang simula sa story na ito. Mga three times yata! But I’m glad worth it naman `yun kasi na-approved agad siya.

x `Yung isang scene dito ay inspired sa Victoria Secret Fashion show last 2012 yata `yun. Ginamit ko rin `yun sa isang kuwento ng for revision manuscript ko pero dahil hindi ko na siya inayos, nilagay ko na lang siya dito. Isa `yun sa mga favorite scene ko.

x The lesson in the story? Ah, teka. Sasabihin ko na lang `yung mga ibang aspects na tinackle nito. He-he. The story is about handling rejections, trust and possessiveness thingy! Ahhhh, basta, hindi ko masabi nang diretso. Kayo na lang ang bahalang humusga. He-he.

xx

Cady

It was just a dream then.

So finally I have the chance to blog this out! Yay! Sobrang overwhelmed pa rin kasi ako noong Sunday Morning and nung afternoon hanggang Monday night, I am so depressed. Kaya wala. Wala talaga akong magawang matino. Ganoon kasi ako kapag may kakaibang nararamdaman. Ngayon lang tuloy ako nakapag-blog. :P

This post is all about last Saturday---one of the happiest and biggest event in my life. PHR Grand Fans Day. Like the post title, It was just a dream then. Totoo `yan. Last Grand Fans Day, ni `di ko nga inakala na sa susunod na grand fans day, tatayo na ako sa harap at kasali sa mismong program. I mean, last GFD, naiyak lang ako sa bahay kasi hindi ako makakapunta. Hindi ko makikita `yung mga favorite PHR writers ko. Tapos `yung susunod pala, `di lang ako pupunta. Kasali na ako sa mismong program...as one of the writers.

I planned to sleep at 12 in the morning since I want to finish another manuscript for Camp Speed. Pero dahil antok na antok na ako dahil may klase ako ng Friday morning at maaga akong nagising...hindi ko rin siya natapos. (Hanggang ngayon, `di pa rin tapos) I was with my mom in my room dahil ayaw na daw niyang matulog sa baba at ayaw rin niyang matulog sa sariling kuwarto niya. Okay lang naman `yun sa akin dahil sanay naman ako na katabi si Mommy noon. Pero nung gabing `yun, masama ang pakiramdam ni Mommy. Medyo nainis ako. Well, plano na kasi namin na pupunta siya sa GFD. Dapat `di masama ang pakiramdam niya. Pero inuubo siya. `Di ako makatulog. Kailangan ko rin siyang asikasuhin. Kaya I ended up sleeping at 3 in the morning and I woke up at 5am! Kasalanan yan nung kapitbahay namin! Ang ingay kasi nila. Lumipat ako sa kuwarto ng kapatid ko. Nakatulog naman ulit ako hanggang 6:30am.

6:30 am, nagre-ready na ako. Pero these days, mabagal na akong kumilos. Nakaalis ako ng bahay namin ng 8:30 dahil plano namin na 10 nasa SM north na dapat. Magpapaayos pa kasi. Pero 9am na, wala pa rin akong masakyan na bus! Naabutan na ako nung Kuya ko sa kanto dahil magpapalinis pala siya ng kotse na `di natuloy kaya `yun, naabutan niya rin ako nang makabalik siya. I even asked him na ihatid ako sa Turbina. Pero sa sobrang bait niya....hindi niya ako hinatid. LOL

Sa Turbina, ang saya ko kasi nakakita ako ng kasama! Haha! Nakita ko sina Majh at Charlene na alam kong pupunta rin sa GFD. Naging palaka pa ako sa harap nila dahil bigla na lang daw ako tumalon. LOL. Sabay-sabay kami papuntang SM North. Mga 11am, nasa SM North na yata kami.

Dahil nakita ko na naman ang aking mga writer friends, wala akong pasidlan sa tuwa! hahaha! I was so happy whenever I with them. Dahil late ako, I have to wait for others to finish. Nagpasama muna ako kay Ate Karen para pumunta sa Precious Pages para makita `yung cover ng Camp Speed. (I am so excited kasi eh! Hi-hi) Then hindi ko akalain na may lalapit sa akin tapos magpapirma! Yay! ~~ Akalain mo nga naman, napadaan lang ako, may nakapagpapirma na sa akin. Hanggang ngayon `di pa rin ako makapaniwala.  Then after that, balik ulit sa Going Straight. Sabay-sabay kaming nagpaayos sa Going Straight and jaran! Ang gaganda namin! HAHAHA! (Dapat kasama talaga ako) XD Medyo hindi ko lang gusto `yung mascara na nilagay sa akin. Feeling ko kasi umitim ung ilalim nung mata ko. Then `yun, nag-take out kami sa mcdo. Fries lang naman nakain ko at uminom ng coke. Pinagsisihan ko kasi sina Mommy pala ay nag-shakey's!!! Di man lang me sinama. >_<

Nanatili sa backstage ng ilang oras. May ilang nagpapirma---`di ko na maalala kung sino `yung mga nagpapirma sa backstage. Hehe. pero masaya ako kahit bawal pa raw pala. XD Kuwentuhan w/ writer friends. Na-miss ko sila sobra!!! Kahit 2 weeks pa lang naman simula nang hindi kami nagkita at palagi naman kaming magkakausap sa twitter at Fb. hehehe. Nang dumating sina Mommy sa 3rd floor, kailangan ko pa siyang ipakiusap kay miss mona dahil `di siya puwedeng hindi makaupo habang naghihintay. May sakit po kasi ang Mommy ko, eh. Kahit bawal kaming lumabas sa backstage, pinilit ko para kay Mommy. Ang bait ko `no? Minsan lang yan. Hahaha!

Nang bumalik ako sa back stage.. may kausap sa amin na guy. Nakipagkamay siya. Ang unang sinabi ko.. "Kuya ang guwapo mo!" HAHAHA! I'm so.. landi lang. Hahaha! Then I ask him, ikaw ba `yung host? Then he said "Yes." Tapos nagsabi siya na magtatanong daw siya sa amin. May mga tinatanong pa siya kung sinong inspirasyon namin sa pasusulat chuva. Tapos magtatanong daw siya, 'Have you been in love?' I said, sa akin mo itanong `yan. Sasabihan kita ng... "Yes. Right now." HAHAHAHA! OMG lang. Ang gwapo niya pero dahil wala kaming picture...feeling ko, `di kami meant to be! Hehehe! Kay host jasper pa rin tuloy ang puso ko <3

Matagal bago nag-start ung program. Matagal rin bago kami tinawag. Medyo kinakabahan ako na masaya. Wala akong stage fright dahil pangarap ko talaga na mag-artista! Hahaha! Pero nung dumating `yung time na nagsasalita ako sa stage... Naiiyak talaga ako. Hindi ko masabi kung malakas `yung sigawan sa akin dahil feeling ko, wala na ako sa sarili nun dahil ang makatayo lang sa stage ay masaya na ako. Seeing those people na makikinig sa akin, ahhh~~ heaven. Lalo na nung makita ko `yung Mommy ko na nakatingin pa sa akin na parang ang proud na proud sa akin. Kahit masama `yung pakiramdam ni Mommy, nagpumilit siyang pumunta. Ahhh, that was just so...overwhelming. Presence niya lang, masaya na ako. Hindi ganoon ka-supportive si Mommy. Pero nung araw na `yun, iba, eh. Nagdrama talaga tuloy ako sa stage kasi... pangarap ko rin lang talaga `yun. Hindi ko pa nga lubos maisip na mangyayari sa akin. Kaunting push na lang, iiyak na ako sa stage. Buti na lang, may bumubulong rin sa akin na `wag kasi sayang ang make-up. Hehe! Tapos nung dumating pa `yung time na pinalabas `yung video trailer ng Camp Speed... Malapit na. Malapit na talaga akong umiyak. Wow! Ni hindi ko plinano na magkaroon ng series. Tapos... sa mismong araw na `yun, ni-launch pa? I feel so special... And I'm so proud. Parang ang layo na ng narating ko. Kaya lang, mukha kaming eng-eng sa stage nung tinawag na kami. Lalo na ako na wala talaga akong masabi. I'm not ready, eh. XD

Pagkatapos noon, akala ko babalik na ako sa dating buhay---ang makikipagdaldalan sa aking mga kapwa writers. Pero `di nangyari `yung expectations ko. Lumabas ako sa backstage kasi kakausapin ko Mommy ko. Tatanungin ko lang kung ano pakiramdam niya. But wow! Bago ako makarating kay Mommy, may mga humarang sa akin at nagpapirma. `Di ko expected `yun talaga!!! As in sobrang overwhelmed ako dahil sa mga taong nagpapirma sa akin. Tapos `yung iba, naghihintay pa talaga para dumating `yung turn na maasikaso ko naman sila. Nagpa-panic ako kapag nakikita kong may mga dumadating at naghihintay para makapagpapirma sa akin. Like wow! Kahit papaano may pila. Gusto ko silang i-accomodate lahat. Iuuna lahat. Pero siyempre `di puwede `yun. Natatakot kasi ako na baka sa susunod ay umalis na lamang sila at hindi na magpapirma. But they waited. Ahhh. Eh hindi pa naman ako marunong pumirma ng nakatayo. Kaya I ended up doing this... : Sorry to my pinsan and inaanak---Raya! Hehe!

I was also happy that my cousins and tita/tito's are there, too. Noong una, wala talaga akong balak isama sila. I just want my mom and my brother to be there. Ayaw kong magdala ng maraming kasama dahil baka akalain naman nila, nagdala ako para may fans. Nahihiya ako. Okay na rin sana `yung isang pamilya ng Tita ko na kasama dahil pupunta rin sila sa Project 8. `Yung isa kong Tita sa Alabang, di ko expected na sasama kasi nung mismong day rin nila nalaman na may event. But I was glad they were there. May mga alalay ako. Charot! Hahaha! Seriously, kung wala sila, mukhang eng-eng talaga ako doon kasi `di ko alam kung paano ko i-a-accomodate `yung mga tao sa paligid ko. Tapos gusto ko rin may picture, eh. Sila humawak nung phone ko at nagpicture-picture sa akin kasama `yung mga nagpapirma sa akin. Sa totoo lang, I dont know most of them. Kahit sinabi nila `yung name nila sa akin, `yung iba talaga, `di ko matandaan. I don't have a sharp memory. And I am so sorry about that. May mga picture sila sa phone ko pero `di ko sila ma-tag kasi nga `di ko maalala `yung iba. Huhu.

Hanggang sa bumalik ulit ako sa backstage, may mga tao pa rin na lumalapit sa akin. Doon ako nagpirma sa nakita kong kahon ng desk fan sa may upuan.

Matagal-tagal rin ang pirmahan sa likod ng backstage. Lumipat na nga sina Mommy ng puwesto, doon na rin sa may backstage. Hahaha. Tapos `yun pala may-ari ng desk fan, inantay niya akong matapos hanggang sa sabihin niya na sa kanya `yung desk fan!!! I'm so sorry talaga, Ate. Kung sinuman siya. Ahhhh talagang nakakahiya moments 101 `yun. Bukod sa hindi ko nga nakilala `yung ibang nagpapirma sa akin. Kahit `yung mismong ka-chat ko pala sa FB nung gabi, hindi ko rin nakilala!!! Mali pa nga `yung name sa dedication. T____T Tapos `yung iba, mali rin ang mismong dedication ko. I committed a lot of mistakes. T___T I'm so stupid. ><

Anyway, I am also thankful to those people na nagbigay sa akin ng gifts and letters.

 Hindi ko inaasahan `yung iba. Lalo na `yung Ferrero ni Ate Liezel! Ah, feeling ko, nanalo ako ng lotto nung binigay niya sa akin `yun. Hehehe. Doon ko nasabing...masarap pala maging writer. hehe! Thankful din ako sa mga taong nagsabing ang ganda ko raw nung araw na `yun. Lalo na kay Lush na sinabihan ako na kamukha ko raw si Bea Alonzo. Hahaha! Tandang-tanda ko `yan dahil noon lang may nagsabi sa akin niyan. Pati daw boses ko, kahawig. Sabi ko naman, hindi `yung boses. Si Beyonce ang kaboses ko. Hehe! Thankful rin ako sa editor ko sa trilogy ko na kinausap ako that time.. (medyo natakot ako noon hehe!) na gusto niya raw `yung kuwento ni Price. Like...wow! `Di ko kasi siya ganoon kagusto. Heheh. Actually, I'm planning to make a new one nga sana. Major revision kasi siya. Pero okay naman `yung comments. `Di ko lang talaga siya trip i-revise kasi `di ko ganoon kagusto `yung kuwento. Hehehe! Pero nung sinabi niya `yun, okay. Buo na ang loob ko na ire-revise ko siya. Thanks talaga, Miss Aiko! Isa kayo sa nagpasaya ng araw ko noon. :)

Nang gabi na, gutom na gutom na ako. Hahaha. But I have to wait for my friends. Chika-chika muna kami. Nakita ko nga pala ang admin ng fan page ko na si Nico. She's so pretty and sweet. Binigyan niya kami ng pizza. Akalain mo nga naman, ang daldal pala niya. Unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya nung cocktail party, I thought, ang tahimik niya. Medyo nagulat ako noong GFD kasi ang ingay pala niya. Hehe! Kumain kami sa Gerry's grill for dinner.

 Sarap ng food! Hehe! Alam ko nagmukha akong PG pero wala! Pagod at gutom na ako. Hahaha! Then bago kami umalis, katuwa lang. Napansin talaga ako ni Ate Heart at sinabing... 'Ikaw ha? Paiyak ka na sa stage kanina!" hahaha! Yay! Katuwa lang kapag napapansin ako ng senior writers. Lalo na `yung mga idol ko. Si Ate Heart talaga, Idol ko `yun, eh. Pero nahihiya rin ako minsan na kausapin siya kasi... nanliliit ako kapag kasama siya. Heheh.

Gusto ko sanang mag-happy lemon pero umayaw si Ate Karen. Sayang! Hahaha! Thankful rin pala ako kasi inantay ako nina Mommy na umuwi. Past 9 na kami nakaalis sa SM North. Hassle rin magbyahe lalo na at palowbatt na phone ko. Pag-uwi ko, `di pa rin ako makapaniwala. Naiiyak ako dahil sa sobrang saya. Kahit pagod na pagod ako, ang saya-saya ko. One of the best days ever!!! Kahit late na ako makatulog dahil nga masaya pa rin ako, okay lang. Nagising ako noong umaga, umiiyak ulit ako sa sobrang tuwa. Lalo na noong ginawa ko `yung malanobela kong status. Kaya lang noong hapon na-depress ako dahil kay Guji. Ayaw ko ng sabihin `yung ibang details kasi nade-depress talaga ako... but `yun na `yun. :P

Pero mabuti na lang talaga at hindi na ako naiiyak ngayon. Ubos na tissue sa bahay namin, eh! HAHAHAHA!

BTW, here are some pictures:

xx

Cady

Reunited again.

A get together. My third year classmates which is mostly known "Troopers" in our school had a get-together yesterday at my classmate's resort. I was excited then... hanggang sa naudlot na nang naudlot `yung swimming namin. Tinamad na ako. Pero pinalipat ko pa rin `yung date na napili nila dahil alam kong hindi ako makakasama dun sa May 4 dahil sa refresher course. Kaya kahit nagkaroon ako ng maraming signs na wag na sanang um-attend....Um-attend pa rin ako dahil somehow ay nahihiya ako... At dahil na rin kay "HIM". I need to, looking forward(kinda) to chat him this Sunday. At kung matutulog ako doon sa mga Lola ko, malaki ang chance na hindi ako pauwiin nila Mommy dahil doon ako boboto bukas. At hindi ko maka-chat si "Him". No! Hindi puwede! Kaya napilitan na akong um-attend para may malaki akong dahilan na umuwi sa mismong bahay namin. XD

May "dalaw" ako nung araw na `yun... Isa sa mga signs na hindi na ako sasama. Umuulan pa bago ako umalis ng bahay. Marami rin akong dahilan kung bakit ayaw kong sumama.... Pero `yung ibang mga dahilan naman ay hindi nangyari talaga. Thank God to dahilan number one. But I don't know, hindi ako natuwa na hindi natupad si dahilan number 2. I always said I'm over that na lang! Hahaha! Pero nalungkot ako sa isiping hindi nangyari `yun. >< I am expecting na mangyayari dahil malaki talaga ang pag-asa... Pero waley. Saklap! Hahaha!

But anyway, okay naman `yung swimming... Torture lang dahil super daming palaka. Na kahit nasa bahay na ako, napa-paranoid pa rin ako!!! Masarap rin na makausap `yung iba at nakakatuwa lang isipin na... Hahaha! OMG, ayaw kong isipin na nakakatuwa ito since hindi talaga nakakatuwa. Okay, defensive na ako. Joke lang talaga `yung pinost ko sa isang group sa FB. Natutuwa lang talaga ako sa kanya. That's all. Mehehe! Napagtanto ko `yan pagkagising ko. :P 

Nagpaka-vain rin nga pala ako dahil hindi ako naligo. :P And this is what I enjoyed the most! Hahaha And here, ipopost ko `yung ibang pics namin...

Nang bago pa lang ang gabi...

Photoshoot sa kuwarto...

Solo photos...

O di ba? Sobrang vain lang. Hahaha. Ganyan ang nagagawa ng wala pang tulog. :P

xx

Cady